Okay, dear reader, it’s time for your daily dose of linguistic debauchery. Today’s word is diffident.  I used it late last night in reference to some rather limp-wristed whiskey.

Diffident (adj) means shy, reserved, or lacking in self-confidence—like a wallflower at an orgy who’s too scared to grab the lube.

This little gem comes from the Latin diffidere, meaning “to mistrust” or “to lack faith,” from dis- (apart) and fidere (to trust). Picture some toga-clad Roman stammering in the Forum, too chickenshit to ask Cleopatra for a quickie. It slunk into English in the 15th century, and we’ve been using it to describe spineless bastards ever since.

So there’s this diffident fucker, Larry, at the bar—sweaty palms, shifty eyes, the whole pathetic package. He’s been eyeballing this tattooed goddess with a rack like a Renaissance painting for an hour, but does he make a move? Hell no. He’s over there nursing his fifth PBR, muttering to himself about how she’d probably rather bang a cactus than his scrawny ass. Finally, his buddy Dave—six-foot-four and built like a Viking on a bender—drags him over, slaps him on the back, and yells, “Oi, Sheila, this shy little boy wants to buy you a shot!” Sheila smirks, downs the tequila, and says, “Grow some balls, Larry, and I might let you lick the salt off me next time.”

Don’t be Larry, dear reader.  Fortune favors the bold, and so does Sheila and her ilk.  And that’s it—diffident: the word for when your spine’s on vacation and your libido’s crying in the corner.

N.P.: “She Is Beautiful” – Andrew W.K.