Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2021
Things are dark, Dear Reader. Not with me, of course…I’m always chipper. No, with the world. And this is from a guy who has not watched a newscast in more than eight months. Things are so bad, I’m hearing about it.
Anyway, I’m in too bad of a mood to commit any great literature tonight, so I’ll sign off (and if any great literature does happen to occur, you’ll be the first to know.
N.P.: “Absurd” – Guns N’ Roses
Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2021
Whaddup, Dearest Reader? Happy Saturday. Yesterday was Friday the 13th in Fecal Creek. It was smoky and hot and disgusting. Yesterday was 107°. Today was 107°. Tomorrow will be 107°. How the fuck long, oh Lord…how long!? Things got so desperate today, I was forced to whip up a batch of my Sexual Sangria. That shit is delicious. And it was the only way to artfully cope with such inhospitable conditions. Well, the Sangria led to a fit of writing this afternoon…good, solid book work. We are pleased.
N.P.: “Bitter Taste” – Billy Idol
Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2021
The Mood persists, Dear Reader, and I don’t like it at all. Same with The Angst. I think it best if I drink a bunch of whiskey and go to bed.
N.P.: “Parchment Farm” – Billy Lee Riley
Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2021
I’ve decided I need to write more goddamn verse. Back in college, even in grad school, I was churning out poetry on the reg. It was rather therapeutic.
There’s a new pet squirrel at The Haunt. His name is Fred. He showed up last week, chased Bath Salts away, and has been hanging out around The Shed ever since. He’s made himself a little spot where he lays and does random flips. I dig Fred. He’s generally a chiller, but if you mess with his nuts or his nest, Fred will Fuck You Up. Just ask Bath Salts.
“A female dwarf lifted up her skirts and exhibited thighs all marbled over with bites and bruises, inflicted on her, so she told us, by her lover. In one sense, it was very refreshing.” ~ Simone De Beauvoir
This fucking heat is driving me insane. It’s 107 today, and the projected highs for the next two weeks are all triple digits. I should probably avoid making any decisions during that time…I can’t possibly think rationally in these absurd conditions.
“It’s Coming Up Again” – The Relatives
Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2021
Shit, Reader…I’m in a bit of a mood today. Sorta cranky, sorta combative. Sick of idiots. The Angst is definitely upon me. I found out this morning that the goddamn tannins in my delicious Irish sweet tea are fucking with my stomach. I can’t even enjoy my delicious Irish sweet tea in the Shed in the morning without my stomach being fucked with. Note: it’s not the whiskey that bothers my stomach. Nope…no problem with that. It’s the goddamn tannins. The hell is a tannin, anyway?
N.P.: “Dangerous Mood” – B.B. King
Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2021
Pretty productive for a Monday.
N.P.: “Honey Bee (Let’s Fly to Mars)” – Grinderman
Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2021
The crew from Hoarders showed up to clear out some of the clutter at The Haunt today. Found out sometime later that they weren’t from Hoarders at all…they were just a crew of robbers from a Scottish gang. No idea what they were doing in The Creek, but I do appreciate the help. Good people, really.
N.P.: “Cherokee St” – Son Volt
Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2021
The California nuclear summer has arrived. I’m sure that’s not the official meteorological nomenclature for what’s going on, but it fits: from late July – September, the smoke from nearby towns burning to the ground blocks out many of the sun’s rays, keeping the sky dark and the temperatures cooler than they would otherwise be. Which is nice for me, but a damn shame for the small towns up the hill from Fecal Creek, like WItch’s Tit and Worst Case, that are completely on fire. Thoughts and prayers, natch.
These wildfires are, for the most part, completely preventable. But our state government is incompetent and corrupt. So every fucking year, here we are. The same government is warning us to stay indoors because the air quality is somewhere south of sewage. “Oh,” says the same incompetent government, “and while you’re in there, be sure not to use your air conditioner to avoid rolling blackouts, because we don’t know what the fuck we’re doing in that department either.”
N.P.: “Dutchman” – Chuck Berry
Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2021
Greetings, Reader. Today was pointlessly busy. It started at 04:30 for no good reason at all. Just when I had started to forget how unpleasant and grotesque sunrises are, there that fiery motherfucker was to remind me, creeping up arrogantly from the east. And things proceeded steadily south from there. The best thing for all parties concerned, I think, at this late hour, is for me to partake of sangria and sleep.
N.P.: “Droge CX 9” – Vampire Sound Inc., Sigi Schwab, Manfred Hubler