So there’s this corporate thing I’m working on, and it’s probably technically overdue at this point. So today was Finish The Fucking Project Day. I actually set an alarm. Yeah…serious business. So the keys were clacking when the phone rang. It was a number that has been calling rather a lot lately, so I decided to invectively bludgeon whomever was on the other end of the line. It was some random Filipino wanting to talk about managing my electronic publishing rights. He was an obsequious little toad who annoyingly kept calling me “Sir Jayson” and referring to my “most amazing book.” I quickly got pissed off, insulted and threatened both him and his miserable family, and hung up. At that point, I was upset. Too upset to productively work on the corporate thing. So I decided the most prudent thing to do to calm down quickly was drink whiskey, so I made a Jack & Coke Icee. Which was (forgive me, dear reader) fucking delicious. A little too delicious because I dispatched it rather quickly and became a little drunk and a lot awesome. Which was potentially good for the corporate thing, because now I could give it a little bit of the edge that it (like all corporate writing) was lacking. But it was problematic because I had a noon meeting with Manolo The Mexican From Mexico about a bulk ammo purchase, and I was now in all likelihood too borracho to drive (legally). Fortunately Manolo The Mexican From Mexico es muy simpatico, so we were able to reschedule, but I was going to be dealing with his cousin Pedro, who was presumably also a Mexican From Mexico (but I guess not The Mexican From Mexico), who has a cleft palate and an unbelievably high and nasally voice. Throw in a Covid mask and minimal command of Ingles and the transaction was a bit difficult in parts. But we got it done. But you know what didn’t get done? The fucking project!
What is tomorrow…Friday? There will be no adventures tomorrow. No Filipino randos starting publishing companies, no whiskey (I’m out after today), no Mexicans from Mexico (or anywhere else for that matter), no shady arms deals in strip mall parking lots. There is only the project.
N.P.: “Gravedigger” – MXMS
Today was…I don’t know what the hell today was. I was too busy to drive around that stupid traffic circle. That feels more like a Saturday thing, anyway.
N.P.: “Long in the Tooth – Praga Khan Mix” – PIG vs. Primitive Race
Are you aware of any laws regarding the number of times one can drive around a traffic circle without driving on in one direction or another? Does that make sense? Like, you know traffic circles, right? So you’ve got to drive around part of the circle and get of at whatever outlet leads to your destination. But can you just drive around the thing multiple times, or is that against the law? It must be against the law, otherwise people would do it all the time. Like a victory lap or something.
What’s crackin’, Mr. Dome,
This is perhaps the best question I’ve ever gotten. And thus is one that truly deserves an answer. I called my attorney this afternoon to get an official “legal” answer, but he just called me names and lectured me about the time difference between California and Israel. And so much for all that. I’m afraid, Gooch…is that cool, if I call you Gooch? I’m afraid, Gooch, that we’re left with one option: there is one of those insipid traffic circles in Old Town Anhedonia, so tomorrow afternoon, I’m going to break off whatever writing I’m doing and I’m going to climb into the Panty Dropper, head to Old Town, enter the traffic circle, and Go For It. The traffic circle is in full view of APD Headquarters, so I’m guessing that if there is some arbitrary limit to how many times one may go around a traffic circle without exiting, Anhedonia’s Finest will let me know. I will let you know of my findings tomorrow.
N.P.: “Trick or Treat” – Grace
Everybody is bored. And having trouble accurately keeping track of time. I think it’s the fact that every day is basically exactly the same, that there is no significant difference between weekdays and weekends is a big part of it.
I’m doing okay with it. I’ve been viewing it as a kind of psychology experiment…”What will these people do?” Something I have learned is that nearly all of my introvert friends weren’t really introverts…they started buckling back in March, almost immediately. I’ve learned that I am absolutely an introvert…like I’m good at it. Kinda thriving in this environment, to be honest. It’s interesting…you know all the ways I’m “eccentric” and weird in the “normal” world? I make complete sense in a crisis. Everybody else gets “eccentric” and weird and freaks out…me? Calm as a Hindu cow.
Anyway, wrote a bunch today. There’s been a delay in the computer I’m building for the new studio…that might not be done until November. But that’s cool…I can keep working on these old ones in the interim.
N.P.: “Mad World” – Me and My Nightmare
I have a general dislike for Sundays. Always have. According to the Bible, even God takes Sundays off. If you believe in that sort of thing. I dislike Sundays even if I don’t have to work on Monday. I didn’t work a Monday for about 20 years, and I still never got on board with Sundays.
N.P.: “Dead Man’s Party” – Oingo Boingo
Sudan normalized relations with Israel this week, and nobody seemed to notice. Had I relied on the U.S. media, I would have missed it myself. But this is massive. The terms of the deal allow Sudan to come off of the U.S.’s state sponsors of terrorism list, which is the first step to badly needed debt relief.
Look for Jordan and Oman soon, hopefully, soon, at some point, to be followed by Saudi Arabia. Once that happens, it’s done.
People have been trying (and failing) to achieve peace in this region for centuries, and now that it’s happening: crickets.
N.P.: “House of Doom” – Black Label Society
Today I heard a noise outside, so I looked, and it was leaves blowing down the street. You know what that means, dear reader…yes, fall is finally fucking here. California summers are like that one asshole that just won’t leave the party though it’s clear he’s overstayed his welcome. Summer here is just rude. I have friends in other states who have been sending me pictures of the snow in their yards for weeks. I’m stuck here acting giddy when a couple of leaves blow down the street. Guess I’ll take it.
N.P.: “I Love My Radio – Us Remix” – Taffy
I am discontent. More than usual. I don’t know. Maybe this is usual now.
N.P.: “Dirty Sticky Floors” – Dave Gahan
So everything I said last night about the Second Amendment also applies to the rest of the Amendments, generally: they do not enumerate rights, they place extensive limitations on the government. The First Amendment protects the free speech of American citizens. There generally isn’t as much confusion of interpretation of this Amendment as there is with the Second. Yet, as clear as this protection is, our society is now one something called “Hate Speech” exists, and once labeled as such, can be silenced by the government. This is so blatantly unconstitutional it’s disgusting. Any law prohibiting or punishing so-called “hate speech” directly violate’s the protections of 1st Amendment.
If you think the way I do, you’ll understand that “hate speech” is the only speech that actually needs protecting.
N.P.: “Collapsing New People” – Die Krupps
I’ve been talking to a lot of people about gun rights and gun ownership recently, and I try not to get upset at their ignorance. “It’s not their fault,” I tell myself, “They were educated in the American public school system…they can’t help it.” That’s what I tell myself. But it usually doesn’t work. I usually end up in some bar, pounding whiskeys and muttering darkly about middle-school civics teachers needing to be shot in the balls.
So here’s Amendment II of the Constitution of the United States: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” That’s it. One goddamn sentence. And though it’s a diatribe compared to the guttural monosyllabic grunts one finds in what passes for journalism these days, it’s not even a particularly long or complex sentence. I’m sure that many otherwise intelligent and educated contemporary Americans might have trouble deciphering some of the syntax, but I think the real confusion comes from a lack of philosophical perspective. That lack, coupled with the confusion that arises when trying to decoct some sort of meaning from any Amendment in isolation, without reading and understanding the rest of the Constitution, is no doubt the genesis of the fundamental misunderstandings of many Amendments. The first thing one must do is jettison the notion that the government “grants” rights. It doesn’t. Anything that you can’t do unless the government grants you permission is not a right, it’s a privilege. Your rights to free speech, to keep and bear, to be free from unreasonable search and seizure…those are all inherent: you were born with them.
So to hear members of the herd bleating about the 2nd Amendment “applying” to hunting rifles or assault rifles or handguns is disheartening at best, terrifying at normal. The 2nd Amendment, like so many other Amendments, restricts the government from having anything to do with citizens’ right to keep and bear. And that is up to including forming a militia that is both armed and trained enough to keep the government itself in check. You don’t have to like it, but that’s what it says: the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. Which means that all the regulation, the limitations, any gun control law, all of it is blatantly unconstitutional.
There are politicians presently running for office actually discussing compulsory buy-back programs and other euphemisms for governmental gun confiscation programs. The foolish implementation of any such idea would mean immediate civil war.
N.P.: “When Worlds Collide – Re-Recorded” – Powerman 5000