Author Archives: Jayson Gallaway

July 15, 2024

A few leftist pundits (mostly women, but embarrassingly not all) have actually propounded the notion that the Trump assassination attempt was somehow staged, suggesting that “no one gets up from getting shot and does fist pumps and shouts, “Fight.”

They have so effectively socially castrated the men around them with “toxic masculinity” that they’ve become exclusively accustomed to effete old men who apologetically wheeze out a pathetic story about how their dad once told ’em, “Joey, it’s okay to fall down, as long as you get back up” every time they ineptly fuck something up.

They have been so completely bereft of actual masculine presence for so long that it is actually easier for them to believe a deadly event was “staged” because “nobody” would act that way.

My God…have the become so quickly and deeply inured to a frail, cowardly, senile old ball-bag wheezing on about LBGTQRSTUWXYZ&$FYXDVF rights as he sits in a full diaper behind the Resolute Desk that their fragile minds can no longer successfully process the fact that an actual man will, even in…especially in moments where their true selves are revealed, act with courage and resolution.  The feminized men on the left so frequently choose Flight, they can’t handle it when someone instinctively chooses “Fight.”

Which is the real reason these idiots are so hilariously apoplectic right now:  within two short weeks, we’ve unexpectedly had the opportunity to see both presidential candidates in truly unplanned for, totally unproduced and unscripted moments that showed both men at their absolute realist, rawest, and truest.  We saw Who They Are in brutally real ways.  We saw how they truly act in a crisis.  One challenged his opponent to a debate, a debate which he wanted to do, for which he picked literally every aspect (when, what network, format, everything).  This wasn’t really a crisis, but we all know how he handled it: he showed up and had a total mental collapse on live TV.  That was a crisis.  So how did he handle that?  He spent the next two weeks mincing and whining and blaming literally everything and everyone else, finally,  pathetically settling on “I had a cold,” and “I was still jet-lagged from 2 weeks ago.”

The other one got shot in the fucking head, bucked the Secret Service, and, with blood smeared across his face, raises a fist and shouts, “Fight!”

Well, I guess if you’re still on the fence, you now have the Harris/Vance debate coming up.  No idea how that will go, of course, but I’m sure it will be unburdened by what has been.

N.P.: “Eractou” – cEvin Key, Ken Hiwatt Marshall

July 14, 2024

‘Nuff said.  American Badass.  This election is over.

Unfortunately, this despicable and cowardly act begins what I’m afraid will be a very ugly and violent time in the United States.  Brace yourself.

N.P.: “Bruiser” – Bonkers Beat Club

July 13, 2024

What a wonderful week.  If you had to be stuck indoors in a controlled climate due to a record-breaking heatwave, you were at least treated to some of the most politically intriguing television of the last 25 years.  Ever since Joe Biden’s total mental collapse on live TV in front of millions of people confirmed that the Democratic Strategic Playbook for jailing Trump and re-electing Biden had back-fired on literally every level, the entire party has been in a state of panicked chaos.  Most leftist media hacks were shitting themselves, in many cases literally:

Even those unduly smug fucks over at CNN are being forced to eat shit every night on live tv (which, ironically, might be the thing that finally starts to bring the network’s dismal ratings up out of the toilet they’ve been in for the last 3.5 years), trying now to pretend that they haven’t been running cover for the White House for decades and they honestly have had NO IDEA that the sitting President of the United States is and has been quite obviously  severely demented  for years now.

For their part, Joe, Jill, and Hunter all got the hell out of D.C. and slithered away, like Hitler, to their private retreat to “strategize” or figure out how to make a blatantly incompetent octogenarian somehow electable to an American populace who didn’t really care for the guy even before the cover-up was exposed.  [Note: I typically avoid comparisons of anyone to Hitler, but in this case, I think the comparison is apt: a reasonable person could easily see similarities between Hitler in his bunker, railing against those few around him, shouting that statistics and polls are ALL wrong, actually believing until the moment they all killed themselves that somehow there was some way they could still actually win,  with Joe Biden at what seems to be the end of his beshitted presidency, hiding in some dreary, remote retreat with Jill and Hunter restricting all access to Joe.  Pelosi and Obama have run into an impenetrable wall: Hunter needs dad to stay in office so that he doesn’t have to get a real job.  Turns out Jill absolutely loathes Kamala, and thus grows quite angry at the idea of Kamala replacing Joe on the ticket or anywhere else.  And Joe cannot stomach a world where he doesn’t  defeat Donald Trump in the next election.

The problem is that now, even the staunchest Dems are finding it impossible to realistically see any scenario in which  a  Democrat party with Biden at the top of the ticket win much of anything.

N.P.: “Land of Confusion” – Genesis

July 12, 2024

Going into yesterday’s NATO press conference (Biden’s first “big boy” press conference in months), the bar had been set on the rather low side.  There may not have been a bar at all…if this dude shows up and doesn’t literally collapse on stage, it’ll be seen as a win, at least by those who were too timid to actually publicly call for Biden to drop out of the campaign (and presumably to leave office immediately, because if he can’t successfully campaign, he can’t possibly successfully govern).  Those on the other side (and I’m talking exclusively about democrats here, such is the current rift in the party), were praying for a definitive, dispositive cataclysmic shitting of the proverbial bed right there on live TV at the NATO summit.

Despite running an hour and a half late, Old Joe did finally shuffle out to the podium and speak for damn near an hour.  He didn’t collapse dead on the stage, fall off the stage, fall down, wander off, or shit his pants.  But he also introduced Zelensky as “President Putin” (which, btw, holy shit), and referred to Kamala Harris as “Vice President Trump.”  So there was really something for the whole family.  If you wanted to Biden cake his pants and burst into flames so that the dems will have to, please God, run somebody, anybody else, you were left disappointed.  If you wanted to see a strong, engaged Commander in Chief who is clearly In Charge, you were left equally disappointed.  Republicans thought it was a disaster, Democrats thought it was a triumph.  But none of that matters.

All that matters is that Old Joe and the Biden Crime Family saw yesterday’s scripted performance as all the proof anybody needs (with “anybody” here being defined as anyone whose last name is Biden who has been benefiting from the grift) that Joe Biden is indeed the man to win the election and lead the country to four more years of…whatever the fuck this is.

They are not going anywhere.  Not voluntarily.  Rumors are that Obama and Pelosi are in overdrive with plans to throw Joe overboard sooner rather than later.   The truth is that Biden bought himself more time, which he desperately needed.  This will likely be the final nail in the coffin of the Biden presidency: there wasn’t an event last night.  But there will be an event in the coming weeks or months.  And it will be Bad.  It will be what everybody was looking for last night.  And as I write this, it is mid-July.  If this disastrous event doesn’t happen until mid-August or September, when it is truly Too Late….

We live in interesting times, dear reader.

N.P.: “Funeral March” – 2WEI

July 10, 2024

As predicted, Poopy Joe ain’t going nowhere.  Dems and leftists who were loudly insisting that the president quit the race and make someone who isn’t a houseplant lose to Trump (Joe Scarborough and Jerry Nadler, to name two of many) today suddenly walked all that back and now, as of this morning, were fully in support of Biden remaining in the race.
Dr. Jill did three campaign rallies yesterday without Joe, and Hunter has become the gatekeeper for access to the president.
Yesterday, Chuck Schumer is sticking with old Joe, while Jon Stewart has had enough of the “bullshit excuses” being used to defend Droolin’ Joe’s debate performance and attempt to keep Biden on the ticket.
Today, George Clooney, who hosted a $30 million fundraiser for Biden’s Corpse just three weeks ago came out and said Joe needs to step aside.
Apparently these people have no idea how obviously stupid their sudden panic and outrage are to everybody not in the democrat echo chamber.  It’s as if just before the 2012 election, the media and DNC suddenly “realized” Obama was black.  The rest are just left wondering if these people are actually deluded, or that their hatred of Donald Trump is so ridiculously deep that they have literally blinded themselves to reality.
There are suddenly numerous and stunningly deep fractures within the democrat party, within the press corps, and between the Biden family and all of the above.  The entire left is in disarray, which is never a good position to be in with fewer than four months until the election.

Poopy Joe has a “big boy press conference” (not my term…that’s how the White House characterized it) Thursday at the NATO summit, which is supposed to be the first time he’ll take unscripted questions from the press.  Then there’s the DNC in August in Chicago (which, some of us are old enough to remember the last time the DNC held a contested convention in Chicago…I’m sure this time will be different.
Then there is the second debate against Trump on September 10.
It will be interesting to see not so much how Biden will do in each of these events, but just to see if he’s still able or even around to do them.

In the meantime, We the People are stuck hoping that if we’re attacked, they attack us during the hours of 10:00 and 16:00, except not during naptime or Matlock, etc, and thinking that November 5 can’t get here soon enough and end this long national nightmare as the Summer of Biden grinds on.

N.P.: “Fake Woke” Tom MacDonald

July 7, 2024

So, dear reader, I wrote this massive thing called Weekend at Joey’s which was a fictitious interview I did with Joe Biden.  It was a pretty vicious take-down of the President using entirely his own unedited quotations.  It attempted to do the press’s job for them (since they have totally abdicated their journalistic duties and become nothing more than the propaganda wing of the democratic party.  It addressed the egregious cover-up and gaslighting about the President’s incompetence and dementia.  As this fake interview goes on, it’s made increasingly clear that Joe Biden is, in fact, dead, and has been so since shortly before taking office.  At one point in the interview, the president’s mandible just falls off, and a couple of aids have to come in and reattach it.

But recent developments have totally taken the proverbial wind out of that piece’s sails.

Which, on the one hand, sucks because I did spend a lot of time on it.  On the other hand, at least now the gaslighting has ended and anyone with even half a brain knows that the President of the United States is non compos mentis and has been so for some time.

Unfortunately, another dark suspicion many of us had prior to the recent Presidential Debate has been confirmed in brutal and undeniable fashion: democrats and the main-stream media (but I repeat myself) are decidedly anti-American and cannot be trusted.  They are so blinded by hate that they worry almost exclusively about keeping Trump out of office at all costs, through and including destroying the country.

We’ve all been seeing the same thing for years now, but now that plausible deniability is off the table, the entire democrat apparatus along with their apparatchiks in the media, are acting as if they suddenly found out something was wrong.  I, along with the rest of the sentient American public, are not buying the gape-mouthed pearl-clutching “oh-we-had-no-idea-things-were-this-bad” horseshit.

Faced with a total loss of credibility even among Trump-hating democrats, the media panicked and blamed the White House Press Secretary, the woefully ill-equipped diversity hire Karine Jean-Pierre and her staff of professional liars for “having misled the press for years” about President Biden’s incompetence.  Again, the public is not buying this bongwash.  Even the day before Debatageddon, KJP was blaming all the myriad footage of President Biden falling on his ass whist trying to ride a bike, falling up various staircases, drifting off so badly in outdoor meetings that he forgets where he is and starts walking into the woods, shitting his pants at the Vatican, trying to shake hands with people who are not there, shitting his pants in Normandy, falling on his face at the Air Force Academy graduation, et cetera, ad nauseum, as “cheap fakes” created by “extremist MAGA republicans (which, what the fuck does “cheap fakes” even mean?  Did she mean deep fakes?  It doesn’t matter: now we all know exactly nothing was faked: it’s all horrifically real.

The Biden Crime Family has circled the wagons, blaming non-Biden staff members for poor debate prep,  with Jill and Hunter greatly restricting access to the president by non-family staff (look for significant staff resignations this coming week).   Hunter has begun attending all high-level meetings with his zombie father, and Jill is asserting  control of the re-elect campaign.  They are insisting that there is NO chance Joe’s going to drop out of the race.  In his disastrous interview with George Stephanopoulos on Friday night, Joe said he would not drop out of the race unless “The Lord Almighty comes down and tells me that.”  So look for the President to be struck by lightning or swallowed by a sinkhole or some other Act of God in the next week.

The most troubling aspect of all of this is the reason why the democrats are melting down: they’ve been watching all the same footage we have for the last several years, but they chose to ignore/not report it.  Until it became obvious that Big Don is going to return to the Presidency.  They seemed not to have the slightest care that a senile old man who can’t finish a simple sentence about Medicare has the nuclear codes.  That someone you wouldn’t even let drive your old beat-up car is, presently, running the world.  Even today, their sole area of concern is that Joe can’t beat Trump.  Their only goal now is to scramble to find someone else to run in the election, not to assume the responsibilities of the president immediately.

This week will be interesting.  If Biden holds on and refuses to step down by the end of the week, he has to run.  But democratic congressmen are saying their first order of business when they return to session tomorrow is figuring out the best path forward.  There are no good ways forward, but the knives are out on all sides.

Poopy Joe has a live press conference on Thursday with NATO leaders, his first live and unscripted appearance since the disastrous debate.  If he’s still in office on Friday morning, the dems are stuck with him.  If he quits before Friday, the dems are stuck with diversity-hire Kamala, the only politician in the country with more dismal approval ratings than the President’s.

On a personal note, I’ve been dealing with close relatives with dementia for years now, and I’ve seen the damage that can be done when a family becomes so scared of a dementia patient that they’d rather just go along and pretend there’s not a problem.  In the meantime, multiple families destroyed, money thrown away.  When the paterfamilias is demented yet still allowed to make decisions and attempt to defy reality and not abdicate their position, disaster is sure to follow.

Two things I’ve learned about dementia patients: 1) they have zero insight into their condition and thus see no need for them to step down from anything (like giving up their driver’s licenses, living alone, etc), and 2) Dementia doesn’t get better.  Ever.  At best, there are good days and bad days.  But we can’t really afford to have a president who has bad days.  Nor can we afford to have a president who is only functional (functional here being defined as vaguely conscious and tangentially aware of What’s Going On) between 10:00 and 16:00.

Not for nothing, but Jill Biden is perhaps the worst wife to have ever wifed.  She should be not just ashamed of her conduct regarding Joe, she should be as disgusted as the rest of us are.  It’s your job to protect your spouse when they get sick, not to exploit them into the grave for your own money and power.  Talk about toxic femininity.  She’s just a disgusting human.

I’ve heard some dem talking heads suddenly suggesting that “it’s time to start playing chess.”  Now it’s time?  Here’s the problem with old democrats and the chess analogy: it is impossible to play, let alone win at chess when each particular piece has its own agenda and schedule and priorities and will never even consider sacrificing themselves to win the match.  As pissed off as the dems are about the Supreme Court and Roe v Wade being overturned, et cetera, none of these problems would exist for them if Ruth Bader Ginsberg had taken her party’s advice and stepped down during the Obama administration.  Another liberal judge would have been appointed.  But she refused to step down and died under the Trump administration.  And the rest is history.  But the democratic ego doesn’t seem to consider any cause beyond their immediate enrichment or empowerment, and seem to have serious problems “taking one for the team.”  They will never let go of power once they’ve taken it.

This is far and away the most fascinating political period in my lifetime.  We’re talking Shakespearian-level drama and intrigue…with Jill Biden cast clearly as Lady MacBeth, natch.  Friends are making a big deal out of House of the Dragon right now, but honestly, I quit watching this week: Game of Thrones is a huge snooze compared to what’s going on in the Season Finale of The United States.  And I am so here for it.

N.P.: “Too Good At Raising Hell” – The Struts

Jayson Gallaway

June 30, 2024

The worst thing about life in Fecal Creek (other than the fact its denizens simply cannot drive to save their lives) is the absolutely brutal and cruel summer heat.  July is typically the worst…that’s the month when our forecast and that of our sister city of Fallujah are identical.

This heat, while ridiculous and totally unacceptable, doesn’t bother me as much as it has in past summers.  Part of this has to do with the fact that I now live and work in what is essentially a house-shaped refrigerator.  Actually, the over-achieving air conditioner has everything to do with why I don’t completely melt down in these ungodly, blasted conditions.  Human beings are not meant to live in temperatures like these.  At least not the Irish human beings.  Certainly not this Irish human being.

It might be time to start talking about getting out of California.

N.P.: “Keep Going” – Tom Morello, The Bloody Beetroots

June 25, 2024

The best way to gain control of the most intelligent and powerful species on the planet would be to completely divide them from the love within themselves.  As soon as they are old enough to begin creating an understanding of who they are, force them into a system that teaches them that it is wrong to be yourself if yourself is different from what is accepted as normal.  Confuse them about their own biological makeup so that they think that permanently altering their body is the answer to happiness.  Require their daily attendance at an institution that makes them focus only on the information that is provided.  Make them attend that institution from age 5 until adulthood, and repeatedly test them on the information so that it becomes their truth.  Give them an explanation to everything so that they never have to make their own assumptions of the world.  Scold them and humiliate them if they suggest an opinion that opposes that of their authorities.  Keep reminding them of how cruel their ancestors were to each other in the past and broadcast how cruel they are to each other in the present.  Only show them tragedies on the news so that they live in fear and think the worst of one another.  Convince them that their species used to be that of an incognizant wild animal.  Make them think that their very existence is so incredibly random that they lack purpose and struggle to make sense of a creator.  Tell them that their kind is as smart as they’ve ever been so that they don’t question the integrity of the system that they’re in.  Provide them idols with artificial beauty and use them as examples of what it is to look perfect so that they’re never content with their own appearance and can’t help but to compare themselves amongst each other.

N.P.: “King Without a Kingdom” – Sonia Leigh, Rob the Man

June 23, 2024

Time has truly spun out of control for me, dear reader.  Okay, maybe not “spun out of control” exactly…more like sped up dramatically.  I’m not exaggerating when I say that weeks now seem to be the length of days, and pass with the same rapidity as days used to pass.  Months seem like weeks used to, and entire years seem to pass as quickly as months used to.

I find this temporal trend quite alarming.

N.P.: “Millennium” – Killing Joke