Remembering Mary.
Monthly Archives: February 2025
February 23, 2025
Today, dear reader, we pour some out for John Keats, one of the greats of the Romantic movement. Keats kicked the bucket on February 23, 1821 – 204 years ago today. He was 25, a punk kid by today’s standards, but he’d already scribbled some of the most gut-punching lines in English lit. The cause? Tuberculosis, that slow, coughing bastard of a disease that chewed through the 19th century like a plague with a personal grudge. Back then, they called it “consumption.” Which sounds poetic as hell – fitting for a guy like Keats – but it was anything but. He’d been coughing up blood for over a year, a dire sign that his lungs were shredding themselves. His doctors, in true old-school fashion, tried giving him a good bleeding – because why not drain a dying man’s strength? – and stuck him on a starvation diet. By the time he got to Rome, hoping the warm air might save him, he was a ghost already. He died in a cramped room overlooking the Spanish Steps, with his buddy Joseph Severn holding his hand, listening to him rasp, “I am dying – I shall die easy; don’t be frightened.” Balls of steel, even at the end. The details are grim but magnetic. Keats didn’t just fade; he fought The Reaper tooth and nail. He’d been sick since at least 1820, probably caught it nursing his brother Tom through the same damn disease in 1818. Karma’s a bitch – Tom died, and John got tagged next. In Rome, his final days were a fevered haze: he couldn’t stomach food, his voice was shot, and he was pissed – told Severn to ditch the sappy letters from his fiancée, Fanny Brawne, because they tore him up too much. His tombstone doesn’t even bear his name, just “Here lies one whose name was writ in water,” a line he picked himself. He figured the world wouldn’t remember him. He was wrong.
So where does Keats stack up among the Romantic Poets? He’s the dark horse, the scrappy underdog who punches way above his weight. You’ve got Wordsworth and Coleridge, the old guard, pontificating about nature and dope-addled visions; Shelley, the rebel atheist spitting fire at the gods; and Byron, the rockstar aristocrat boning his way across Europe. Then there’s Keats: poor, orphaned, trained as a surgeon, no fancy pedigree – writing odes that hit you like a blade to the chest. He wasn’t about grand manifestos or epic quests; he zeroed in on beauty, mortality, and the pain of being alive. “Ode to a Nightingale,” “To Autumn,” “Bright Star” – sure, they look like poems, but they’re really existential Molotov cocktails. He’s the Romantic who makes you feel the weight of your own heartbeat, while the others are busy shouting from mountaintops.
Keats didn’t get the rockstar treatment in his lifetime – critics called his stuff “cockney” and sneered at his low-rent roots – but he rewrote the game after he was gone. Tennyson, Yeats, even the modernists like Eliot owe him a nod. His idea of “negative capability” – embracing doubt and mystery without chasing answers – still rattles cages in lit theory.
Keats died young, broke, and lovesick, but he left a stash of words that still draw blood. Cheers.
N.P.: “Lullaby” – Pure Obsessions & Red Nights
Word of the Day: sodden
Word of the Day: sodden
1a : dull or expressionless especially from continued indulgence in alcoholic beverages <sodden features>
b : torpid, sluggish <sodden minds>
2a : heavy with or as if with moisture or water <the sodden ground>
b : heavy or doughy because of imperfect cooking <sodden biscuits>
On Valentine’s Day, after downing his seventh beer at the annual singles’ mixer, Jim sat there, sodden, with the expression of a mannequin that had seen too much of the world – his face as blank as a freshly wiped whiteboard, staring into the void with the enthusiasm of a sloth on a lazy Sunday. Around him, couples danced like they were in a rom-com, while Jim, lost in his own soggy contemplation, was more like a forgotten extra in a B-movie about loneliness. His only companion was the empty bottle in his hand, which he treated like a date, even giving it a little Valentine’s Day kiss before realizing it wasn’t reciprocating.
N.P.: “Hurt” – Steve Welsh
February 10, 2025
Good morning, dear reader. It’s presently 04:55 in Fecal Creek, which is where I’m sitting as I type this. I woke up at 02:00…suddenly wide awake, eyes open…for no evident reason. This usually doesn’t happen. Usually once I get to sleep, I stay that way until the alarm goes off or the sun comes up, whichever comes first. It’s been that way for several years now. The only exceptions have been when I’ve over-indulged in whiskey earlier the previous day…that causes weird things to happen with my blood sugar which causes me to suddenly be wide awake usually around 3 in that morning. But I’ve been so busy with the book and other projects, I haven’t had the time to drink. Not a drop in at least 2 weeks. So that’s not it.
A couple of years ago I went through a period of extreme stress, and during that time, I was waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning. That went on for weeks. Until I figured out how to deal with it.
The sun won’t rise for another 2 hours, and since I have some “extra” time this morning, I thought I share my secret to dealing with insomnia: Don’t Fight It. That’s it. Embrace it as an opportunity. If you wake up and know that you are not going to be able to get back to sleep, say Fuck It and get up. Rather than staying in bed and either stressing yourself to go back to sleep for another few hours when it’s clear that’s not going to happen, or stressing about whatever stressful thing it was that woke you up in the first place, get up and get to work, whatever “work” means for you in that moment. If you’re able to start your actual job a couple of hours early, do it. Doubtful your boss will get upset with you for that. I typically start writing. You might work out. I know a guy who started building these big-ass planter boxes in his backyard. He had no idea what he was doing when he started…just did it…figured it out as he went along. Watched YouTube videos. Of course, dude lives out in the county, so there aren’t any neighbors around to bitch about hammering and sawing at dawn [author’s note: I am extremely jealous of his “county” life. I live within city limits and am thus subject to the most ridiculous restrictions. My next house will most definitely not be in any city limits. I want to not have to see any neighbors, be able to wear a sidearm, and burn the trash in a huge oil barrel. Anyway, I digress]. He’s been working on the planter project for a year now. He built 5 huge planters and is now growing his own vegetables and potatoes. It’s pretty cool.
An hour left until the sun rises once again over Fecal Creek, but I’ve already been at it for two hours. Of course, I’ll be dragging ass by lunch, and a lesser person my submit to a nap. But not me. I have access to caffeine, and cause is both just and righteous, and I am actually just able to will my way through it. And then comes the best part: sleep tonight. The sleep one gets the night after one gets three hours of sleep or less is glorious.
Alright…gotta get back to the book.
N.P.: “Love Will Tear Us Apart” – Apoptygma Berzerk, Emil Nikolaisen