For the last two weeks, I’ve been at war with my bathroom sink.  It began mostly as a cold war…a war of words.  Most of those words were mine, since the sink was too backed up to speak, even if were capable of doing so.  The following week was marked by actual fighting, mostly hand-to-hand combat.  There was some invocation of spirits as, whilst plunging violently, I started yelling, “The power of Christ compels you!” with each plunge (I recently rewatched The Exorcist, and it worked for those dudes, so….).  Late last week, I grew bored with the conflict and decided to dramatically overreact by deploying chemical weapons.  which I did multiple times over the weekend.  My usage of chemical weapons could probably be accurately described as “disproportionate.”  Be that as it may, I am very pleased to announce (and you will be relieved to hear about) total victory resulting in the complete subjugation of the bathroom sink.

N.P.: “Funky Cold Medina” – Tone-Loc