The only kind of rain alerts we get around here are always the same: “a brief rain shower will begin at xx:xx. The rain will be light.” Balls.
That’s not what I want to hear.  This is what I want to hear, just once:
“Ho…Lee…Shit!  If you don’t know how to swim, hope you’ve got a boat because starting at xx:xx, a fucking waterfall is going to open up over your life and stay there for God knows how long.  It is going to Piss.  And it will likely keep on pissing for a while.  Seek shelter…high ground.  Cancel plans.  Brace yourselves.”
But of course that will never happen. Not around here, anyway.

N.P.: “Hey So Much” – Processor, Wicked boy