December 7, 1941. A day that came in masquerading as just another sleepy Sunday morning but ended up sucker-punching the hell out of the United States in a most chickenshit and cowardly manner. Pearl Harbor wasn’t just an attack – it was a masterclass in treachery and bad form, courtesy of Imperial Japan. The cowardly audacity…they were shaking hands with us in “peace talks” while sharpening their knives behind their backs. It’s like inviting someone over for dinner and then robbing their house while they’re asking if the roast needs more salt. But here’s the thing about America – you punch us in the gut, we will fucking kill you.
Imperial Japan thought they were clever, I’m sure – a surprise air raid at the crack of dawn, bombs raining down like hellfire on unsuspecting sailors and soldiers at Pearl Harbor – all in the hopes of demoralizing us and crippling our Navy. Spoiler alert, though – it didn’t work. Sure, the attack was devastating, and the loss of life was heartbreaking, as well as the damage to our Pacific Fleet. But Japan made a colossal tactical error: they vastly underestimated the ferocity, resilience, and sheer scrappiness of the United States. If they thought the sleeping giant was just going to roll over and play dead after this brazen act of deceit, they were in for the rudest awakening since Hercules cleaned out the Augean stables.
It didn’t take long for the United States to rally, fueled by anger, heartbreak, and then unshakable need for vengeance and justice, not just on behalf of our fallen but for the glaring insult to our sovereignty. Five words sealed their fate and defined our response for the ages: “A date which will live in infamy.” Roosevelt’s rallying cry was the spark that ignited the American war machine. Factories roared to life, producing tanks, planes, and battleships like we were running out of time. Men (including my own underaged-at-the-time father) enlisted by the millions, women stepped into factories and war effort roles, and communities united in ways Japan could never have predicted. We didn’t just rebuild, we fired up an industrial symphony that would ultimately dwarf every axis power combined.
Then came the Pacific Theater of World War II, where America delivered its own masterclass in turning rage into results (don’t pick a fight with a nation that considers John Wick aspirational cinema). Battles like Midway and Guadalcanal flipped the script – Japan starting getting its ass handed to it. For every sneak attack they tried to pull, we hit back with overwhelming force (which is really the only way to hit back, dear reader). Every island we took was an inch closer to Tokyo. And when it can to D-Day and the European victory in 1945, don’t think for a minute that our war in the Pacific was a forgotten sideshow. By the time we got to the Battle of Iwo Jima and Okinawa, it was clear that the days of Japan’s outrageous overreach were numbered.
And then, the ultimate American flex. One in a long series of glorious Fuck Around and Find Out moments handed out generously to the rest of the world from their American Friends. The final two seismic punctuation marks on the war to end all wars: Hiroshima and Nagasaki. No one talks about these bombings lightly, least of all here, but the fact remains – they broke the back of the evil regime that had brazenly kicked off this entire mess. Japan’s unconditional surrender on September 2, 1945, aboard the USS Missouri, signaled the ultimate triumph of Allied forces, led by a United States that simply wouldn’t quit – or forgive the betrayal of Pearl Harbor.
And now, every year on December 7th, we pause to remember. To hear the stories of those who lived, fought, and died. To salute those who stepped up when America needed heroes more than anything. Pearl Harbor serves as a reminder of Japanese treachery and that while cowards strike in the shadows, giants rise into the light, resilient and unyielding. Goddamn right.
They thought they’d catch us off guard and break us. They caught us, all right, but break us? Never. The moral is this motherfucker is do not mess with the U.S. Japan’s deceit cost them dearly, and the united fury it awakened in this great nation crushed their ambitions into nuclear glass.
N.P.: “Do Your Worst” – Rival Sons
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