Governor Asshat had the nerve, the unmitigated hypocritical gall, the stupid audacity to “order” a nighttime curfew today.  Including Napa County!  Where he just violated two of his own “orders.”  I was going to go out and raise hell tonight, you know, in protest, but our County Board of Supervisors made it very clear that, as with all of the other of this idiot’s commandments, this county  will be totally ignoring it.
“Fuck that guy,” said Supervisor Danielson as he left Board Headquarters this afternoon.  “Fuck him in his hypocritical dimpled ass.  He should be arrested and flogged…no, scratch that…reverse it: he should be flogged and then arrested, and then charged with being an asshole.”  Reporters gasped, but raucous cheers broke out amongst the fine and robust citizens of Anhedonia County who where in attendance.

UPDATE: A spokesman for the Office of the Governor declined to comment on whether or not the governor’s ass is indeed dimpled.  “But he’s a abject hypocrite, there’s no getting around that.”

N.P.: “Rattlesnake” – Son of Dave