At some point in the predawn hours of this morning, I decided to look into getting a bomb shelter built here.  For the sort of thing I had in mind: $57K.  Which seemed reasonable.  So I called.  Oddly enough, no one was in the office to take my call.  Which, in hindsight, I suppose was also reasonable, but at that moment, I remember taking rather significant umbrage: I guess I think that certain businesses should be available 24 hours a day, and bomb shelter installation is such a business.  But I understand that not everybody thinks like me, so I left a voicemail.  When they returned my call, they educated me on how things would have to be done around here: gotta build a pool.  Package deal: if you want to build a bomb shelter in Fecal Creek or Anhedonia County, you build a pool.  Bullet-resistant door…always good.
In the end, though, I decided not to get a bomb shelter, and instead went back to sleep.

N.P.: “Smash Shit Up” – Dropkick Murphys