March 4, 2021

Another ludicrous day, dear reader.  The was a kerfuffle, at one point, with 20 – 30 angry-for-no-apparent-reason wild turkeys.  Arrogant, wattle-havin’ motherfuckers.  Fortunately they came to their collective senses before I had to get all apex predator on them.  Nervy little bastards.  Oh yeah, when they’re all together in a rafter, they’re all thuggish.  But you get one of them alone, it’s Thanksgiving all over.  Which, by the way, was just a few months ago.  You’d think they’d learn.  If all of one species in my neighborhood feasted on all of my species one day out of the year, I would tread pretty lightly the rest of the year.  They should talk to the skunks and the racoons…those goddamn racoons may have left the area completely after our last conversation.
I like animals well enough, but all the animals around here seem to be assholes.  Maybe I’ll install a bat house under the eves…kill off the mosquito population, freak out the neighbors, and bats aren’t assholes.  Yes.  It’s decided.  Coming this summer to The Haunt: Bat House.

N.P.: “Just One Kiss” – Imelda May, Noel Gallagher, Ronnie Wood

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