“What are you doing?”
“Watching the neighbors fuck.”
“Again?  Are they getting any better at it?”
“Not really.  What are you doing?”
“I got a recipe for making pruno in the Instant Pot.  I need to get my hands on some yeast.”
“What?  What’s in the recipe?”
“It says all you need is grape juice, granulated sugar, and wine yeast.”
“What made you think of making pruno in the Instant Pot?”
“A recipe just showed up in my feed.  It doesn’t actually mention pruno…it says it’s just wine.  But how good can it possibly be?”
“Only one way to find out.”
“Amen, sista.”
“I’ve heard a lot of stores are out of yeast.”
“Horseshit!  Seriously?  Bastards.  Bunch of barbarians in this town.”
“But you know what they do have?  Actual wine.  You can just buy wine.  Don’t need to resort to making your own just yet.”
“I’m just exploring the seemingly unending possibilities of the Instant Pot.  Boom…look at this: instant pot moonshine.  Here’s Instant Pot gin.  This is amazing.”
“Oh no…not moonshine!  That’s got to be really harsh on one’s liver.”
“But it’s so good for one’s soul.”
“At the expense of one’s liver.  You seem to be pretty excited about the prospect of making booze in the Instant Pot.”
“I got pretty worked up when I found out it can sterilize surgical instruments.  That’s when I started wondering “What can’t this thing do?  Ima make booze.  Instant Pot Hooch”
“It’s not going to stink, is it?  I don’t want this place smelling like a distillery.  Can you do it in the garage?”
“Oh hell….this says the wine takes 48 hours in the Instant Pot!”
“Is that a deal-breaker?”
“Well, no, but goddamn.”
“Guess it needs time to ferment.  And it will probably turn the Instant Pot purple.”
“That wouldn’t be so bad.  Aw, dammit…the moonshine recipe is bullshit.”
“Uh oh…why?”
“Because the last step is ‘adding the Everclear.’   I want to make booze, not flavoring.  You can add Everclear to anything and call it moonshine.  You can add Everclear to chocolate pudding. Whaddaya got?  Chocolate pudding with Everclear on it?  Nope. You’ve got chocolate pudding moonshine.  Which I just made up as an example but now that I’m thinking about it.  Chocolate pudding moonshine sounds possibly awesome.  I wanna get drunk on pudding.”
“You’re so weird.”
“You’re the one watching the neighbors fuck.  How’s that going?”
“Sucks.  You’d think they’d get better at it eventually, but no…just the same thing.”
“Maybe their cable is out.  I’m going to the store.”
“For yeast?”
“Nah…Everclear and chocolate pudding.”
“So weird.”


N.P.: “Another Brick In the Wall” – Fury Weekend

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