Today’s high point and low point were the same moment, and that happened when  got ghost pepper powder on my goddamn uvula.  I was getting ready to take a first bite of a ghost pepper chip, and right when I got the thing in my mouth but before I had a chance to chew, somebody made me laugh, which somehow caused me to inhale rapidly right before I closed my lips and crunched down on the chip.  So a bunch of ghost pepper powder flew from the chip onto my pleasantly moist uvula, where it of course stuck and was activated.  It was not a comfortable sensation at all, yet I kept my composure, because I am, if nothing else, a gentleman.

Because it was my uvula, it seemed like swallowing water normally wasn’t getting it.  I felt I had to try to sort of throw water down my throat in order to hit that weird little punching bag that was quickly going into full rebellion over this pepper powder bullshit.  For a while, it felt like I was breathing fire, both inhaling and exhaling.  But I wasn’t breathing fire.  I was told It looked like I was trying to discreetly cough up a hair ball made of razor wire.

Anyway, how was your day?

N.P.: “Revolution” – Uppermost