This was the headline I woke up to this morning, and it gave me pause.  I knew that the ISIS guys sent their wives back to their respective home countries a few months ago when the going got untenable and food was getting scarce (which wives are being less than warmly welcomed back into the societies they have pledged to destroy, which wives from the United States should be escorted off the plane and shot at dawn on the White House lawn).  But that was months ago, and the fighters must have started getting a little frisky while they were all hanging around in the tunnels, waiting for the wrath of the righteous world to lay its vengeance upon them.

Yousef:  Ahmad…by the Prophet’s lush and well manicured beard I swear to you if we do not find something to entertain ourselves and pass the time, I am going to go mad.  Even if we had electricity, which we have never had, we can’t listen to music or watch any movies.  We burned all the books and blew up all the museums, so there’s that.  And we sent our wives away two months ago…and let’s be honest, she was an 8, I’m a solid 2…I will never find such a ji-hottie to love me again.  Before we die at the crusaders’ hands, can we please just blow each other?

Ahmad: Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim I tell you, Yousef, to make mouth love to another man is the worst kind of sin, and the sinners shall be stoned to death.  With stones.  Big ones.  That hurt.

Yousef:  Shit.  Wait, what if we blew ourselves?

Ahmad [after thinking for a beat]:  That should be kosher.  But can you even do that?

Yousef:  No…but inshallah I shall learn before the crusaders arrive.

And so it went, and thus today’s headline was born.  Thus I took more Nyquil and went back to sleep.

N.P.: “3,2,1,Nein” – Wulfband