Tomorrow is Street Cleaning Day in Fecal Creek. That would not be news in most small towns, but Things Are Different in The Creek™. [Ed. note: the ™ is there because I’m very proud to report the town of Fecal Creek is presently considering that phrase, originally uttered drunkenly by yrs. truly in the parking lot of The Paddy Wagon on an icy, foggy December morning, as the new town motto for 2021.][There is allegedly a $10K award associated with the winning slogan, so fingers crossed, dear reader.] I’ve only been through one official Street Cleaning here, but from what I observed during my first, it is not a good time to be anywhere on the streets, or really anywhere outside at all. Yes, the Anhedonia County workers clean the actually streets with up-armored street-cleaning tank/trucks. They will also be scooping up any furniture/household items/computer/surveillance equipment you may care to leave out. For free. Turns out Street Cleaning Day is also the beginning of the season for the Homeless Eradication Program, so any homeless you wish to be free of can be left on the curb with the unwanted furniture and electronics tonight with confidence that they will Be Gone by 2/17. That’s the other weird thing about Street Cleaning Day in Fecal Creek: it is 24 hours long. Meaning they put out notices telling citizens that whatever you intend on having picked up, you need to have out on the street at midnight on 2/16, and then Stay The Fuck Inside until midnight on 2/17. Lest ye be Picked Up, would be the dire inference there.
I stuck some furniture out there, plus a printer, plus a couple of relatives.
N.P.: “Materia oscura” – Die Form