April 5, 2022

Well, that’s welcome news…perhaps I’ll restore my Twitter™ account.

Me: …then get the motherfucker on the phone.
She:  I bet Jesus never said, “Get the motherfucker on the phone.”
Me:  Who cares?  I don’t have time for that.  Why are people always bringing Jesus up?  Of course Jesus never said that…Jesus didn’t have a phone.  Jesus didn’t have electric light.  He just told people to be nice to each other and they nailed him to a tree.  Two thousand years later and the poor bastard just hangs there, listening to people moan and beg for the winning lottery numbers.
She: You’re going to hell.
Me:  I find your use of the future tense interesting…have you looked outside lately?
She: I’m going to lunch.
Me: After.
She: After what?
Me After you get the motherfucker on the phone.
She: Jesus!
Me: Like clockwork.

N.P.: “Funeral Bell” – Black Label Society

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