Well, that’s welcome news…perhaps I’ll restore my Twitter™ account.
Me: …then get the motherfucker on the phone.
She: I bet Jesus never said, “Get the motherfucker on the phone.”
Me: Who cares? I don’t have time for that. Why are people always bringing Jesus up? Of course Jesus never said that…Jesus didn’t have a phone. Jesus didn’t have electric light. He just told people to be nice to each other and they nailed him to a tree. Two thousand years later and the poor bastard just hangs there, listening to people moan and beg for the winning lottery numbers.
She: You’re going to hell.
Me: I find your use of the future tense interesting…have you looked outside lately?
She: I’m going to lunch.
She: After what?
Me After you get the motherfucker on the phone.
Me: Like clockwork.
N.P.: “Funeral Bell” – Black Label Society