I just wanted to have a hamburger for dinner.  I’m an apex predator, for Christ’s sake, and lately I’ve been eating entirely too much chicken.  So a hamburger it is.  I’m kind of burnt out on Shake Shack…they’re okay, but greasy as hell.  Like you can wring out the bun and grease drips out.  But still, I wanted a goddamn hamburger.  And what should suddenly appear under the “Now On DoorDash” tab like it’s the new player in town: The Burger Den.  Great…a place that is solely focused on burgers.  They’re going to have quality ingredients, fresh, simple.  And mother of God look at these pictures!  If ever there was a gourmet burger, there it is: a professionally made hamburger in a professionally photographed picture.  So I was in.  I ordered a burger and onion rings.  And right way, The Burger Den confirms the order.  And suddenly the app is telling me that my delicious burger will be here in 15 minutes.  This place must be very close to have that ludicrous of a delivery eta.  So I looked at the map.  The Burger Den is fucking Denny’s.  Nobody wants to DoorDash Denny’s, so Denny’s started just making up new names of restaurants people would actually order from.  I know, plenty of chains have been rebranding themselves with online delivery services, and fine…you gotta do what you gotta do to stay in business.  But something about this transaction left me feeling a bit ripped off.  If I’d wanted a goddamn DennyBurger, I would have ordered a DennyBurger.

N.P.: “Dogs of Lust” – The The