Got a lot done today.  Took a break to yell at that goddamn Pioneer Lady that puts butter in absolutely everything.  I’m fine with that, but it’s the other weird shit she occasionally comes up with that I can’t abide, and today was egregious: bish put beets in the brownies.  Beets!  Okay, for starters, nobody likes beets.  But even the few perverts that might actually admit to liking beets would not approve of just putting beets in random foods willy-nilly, with gastronomic impunity.  But then, as I’m cussing her out, she makes that fatal mistake that so many women make when you started raising hell about putting bullshit in the brownies: she said, “You won’t even taste them.”  Then don’t fuckin’ put ’em there!  Beets.  Jesus.
This culinary atrocity caused me to hit the whiskey a tad early, just to cope, which led to a discussion about me doing a cooking show.  You know, on the YouTubes or whatever.  It would just be me getting drunk and cooking and not putting goddamn beets into anything.

N.P.: “Ratfinks, Suicide Tanks and Cannibal Girls” – White Zombie