A sunstorm alert went out across Anhedonia County today, which county contains the town of Fecal Creek, where I am presently sitting and typing this. Ten days of the hottest temps this summer. Highs nearing 120F, with the nights only cooling to the low 90s. I just made a final supply run before the temps begin their infernal ascent into the Intolerable. Any traveling or errands will have to be done late at night…daytime travel is extremely hazardous. Try to walk anywhere, the soles of your shoes will melt. Even if you’re lucky enough to have a garage, tires will start aggressively melting the moment they touch asphalt. Last year, when things weren’t so locked-down due to plague, 8-year-old Timothy Skutch was sent by his father to get more liquor at the corner liquor store, an establishment called simply and unpretentiously, “Liquor.” Timothy made it halfway down the block before the soles of his shoes melted on the sidewalk and Timothy became stuck. Of course, he died. He wasn’t discovered until hours later, when Timothy’s father became enraged at the continued lack of liquor, and decided to track down his no-good kid, only to find said kid roasted in the California sun, shoes frozen mid-step. It was fucking horrible, dear reader. Nobody’s really talked about much around here since then. The city put up a statue of Timothy as he probably looked just before his shoes melted into the sidewalk and doomed him. A bunch of white kids tore the statue down a couple weeks ago because it was racist. But the message of Timothy lives on. Today the local news was full of profiles of Timothy, with admonitions and warnings about the upcoming sunstorm. The moral of the story is that humans aren’t supposed to live here. That and all statues are inherently racist.
Anyway, I need to go finish mirroring all the windows. Stay safe, dear reader. Updates here as conditions allow.
N.P.: “On This Rock I Will Build My Church” – Lord of the Lost
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