Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2022

Good evening, dearest reader.  And happy Columbus Day.  It’s allegedly almost Halloween.
I must confess I’m finding it somewhat difficult getting into the spirit of the fucking season when it’s 92 goddamn degrees outside.  But what is one to do except bitch.  So bitch I shall: It’s too hot for October!
There.  I feel better.
As long as I’m downloading, here, wanna know what else is pissing me off?  People saying “perfect” at me every time I’m forced to have an interaction with a female under 30.  Holy Jesus.

I’ve got a pretty healthy ego, but I’ve never been under the delusion that I am anywhere near perfect or that I have done or will ever do anything perfectly. Ever. So why oh why must I be not simply told, but really rhetorically bludgeoned by Gen Z women telling me absolutely every single thing that I do, down to the most mundane task, like signing a form, was “perfect”?

This nonsense started a couple years ago, but was generally limited to lesser-educated mall employees and the like. And since I only found myself in malls only once every year or two, it was tolerable. But then, during the pandemic, everybody got noticeably more stupid. And “Perfect” evidently became ubiquitous.

I’m now hearing it several times a day, in response to the most innocuous things. It’s like these women have been taking lessons from manically medicated Valley girls or something. I’m beginning to think they’re doing it on purpose, just to annoy me.

Or maybe they really are that stupid. Either way, it’s driving me up the wall.   I was talking to my new friend and driver Jerry about this, and his suggestion was…typical of him:  “Dude…I know…it’s driving me crazy too.  Fortunately, I’m a man who is slowly learning how to deal with this. I don’t want to get too graphic, but one of the more effective things I’ve found to shut these annoying twits up is to grab them by their upper arms and shake them until their teeth rattle like loose change in a beat up penny jar. It puts them in their place, and does wonders for my mental state.  I know you’re more “sensitive” than I am, but even though I know it might feel “wrong” when you first try it, don’t let that stop you.  This “perfect” shit has already gotten out of control…if you and I don’t start doing our part to rein it in, I shudder to think of how things will be in three months, hell, in three weeks!”

Though I take his point, and even concur, his suggested methods are a bit much.  But still…I get where he’s coming from.  Anyway, if we can please all knock it off with the “perfect” all the goddamn time, that would be great.  Otherwise Jerry’s just going to keep shaking people.

N.P.: “Hunter’s Moon” – Ghost

Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2022

“Music loud and women warm…
I’ve been kicked around since I was born.”
~ Maurice Gibb

That about sums it up, dear reader.  Maurice knew what mattered, and perhaps more importantly, what didn’t.  But none of that matters anymore…Maurice is long dead and I’m still here, so I’m not sure how much of his wisdom I’m supposed to let eclipse mine.   According to the calendar, today is the first day of October.

If one were to argue this point based on all available objective perception, one would not be out of line, for one would be basing one’s argument pretty solidly on the fact that it is presently 95 F(ucking degrees) outside, with nary a cloud in the sky. This, of course, is in California. The land of fruits and nuts, though that means something different than it did 100 years ago, where fall apparently means “let’s turn up the heat a few more notches before we’re forced to confront the reality of winter.”

So, I ask you: what the fuck happened to fall? Remember fall?  It was that brief, beautiful period between summer and winter when the weather was perfect, the leaves were changing color, and pumpkin spice lattes were in season. We did a little digging and found out what happened: Governor Gavin Newsom signed an executive order last year, in a late-night executive session that went unmentioned by the press, banning fall. “Autumn is bigoted and sexist, and a vestigial part of the systemic racism in American timekeeping,” reads the official statement of the Governor’s Office. “Besides, fall has felt like an afterthought for a lot of years now; an after-party to summer that no one really wants to attend but feels obligated to nonetheless. Well, no more! No more fall!”

This is bullshit, of course. Fall was my favorite season, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some two-bit politician take it away from me without a fight. I’m throwing down the gauntlet: #BringBackFallYouDick!

N.P.: “God Only Knows” – Gary Numan

Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2022

Hey dear reader…just wanted to check in real quick…the writing is going extremely well, I’m just working on too many projects and there are simply too few hours in the day.  Thirty hours would be about perfect, I think.  Stupid heliocentric universe.  Anyway, I promise I’ll be back here soon.

N.P.: “Bil Biyelgee” – The HU

Happy birthday, Mary.

N.P.: “Love…Thy Will Be Done (NPG Extended Mix)” – Prince

Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2022

Good evening, dear reader.  Just a quick note for now…I have been busy as hell.  The writing is going swimmingly, but it’s taking all my time.  Anyway, good things are happening.  I’ll be back here for a proper visit with you soon.

N.P.: “Highly Suspicious” – My Morning Jacket

Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2022

Unholy temperatures today, dear reader.  I think it’s weird that people live here…people are clearly not meant to live here.
Anyway, I’ve been working on something that is taking a little longer than expected, so I’ve been absent here a few days more than anticipated.  So I just wanted to stop by and say hey and bitch about the heat.  Okay…back to it.

N.P.: “Hang on St. Christopher” – Bulletboys

Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2022

Well, it’s the first week of September, so naturally it’s hot as balls here in The Creek. We’re in the middle of something worse than a Heat Wave…it’s evidently called a Heat Storm and it is evil. The next 7 days are once again featuring highs in the 120s. And as has long been established, no great literature can be committed in any climate hotter than 110, and even that’s pushing it.

Fortunately, the Safehouse is equipped with a state of the art Freezeyerass Air-Conditioning unit pumping out something like 15K BTUs, of chilly climate-controlled bliss, so work on the books shall continue apace, despite the ongoing temperate fuckery.

N.P.: “Ten Times More” – Dropkick Murphys

Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2022

Good evening, loyal and long-suffering reader. In an unexpectedly sudden move, the goddamn Muse has, at long last, decided that we’re once again on speaking terms, and, having decided thus, has spoken: Underground long enough, she seemed to say…it’s time to resurface. Or at least start to. She then gave me a five-year plan. Which is actually a pleasant change from not having a five-year plan. So suddenly there’s a five-year plan. I’ve got six book ideas that I’ve written out to 10K-15K words, and after much ceiling-staring, hardwood-floor pacing, and whiskey clanking, (and subsequent drunken consultation with the Wise Ones), it has been decided to shelve four of the book ideas for the time being, and focus exclusively on getting the first two books ready for a 2024 release.

The first book is a psychological memoir (which I’ve never read or written), the second is a novel (of which I’ve read many, but never written). Yeah…fiction. Traditionally, my fiction has been shit. And it still very well may be, but it’s a satire, so I should be able to pull it off.

A completed draft of the first book is due by December of this year, (which is rapidly approaching), and the second book by June of next year. It’s a bit ambitious, but that’s the plan, so yeah…Let’s get weird.

N.P.: “Cage” – Billy Idol

Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2022

Studio was closed last week due to fulfillment of civic duty.  Gonna spend the week catching up.
My thoughts are with Salman Rushdie and his family.  America continues to disappoint as it strays away from true liberty and free speech.

N.P.: “Cool, Nice.” – Cobra Man

Just a quick note on the passing of Nichelle Nichols…I had the privilege of meeting her in 1981.  We chatted about the Space Shuttle and she said I was “very intelligent.”  I was accused of blushing deeply afterwards, but I remain dubious of such claims..  I remember thinking she was one of the first adults I spoke with who actually listened to me.   Anyway, she was a very kind, classy lady and I’m grateful for the chance tohave meet her.

N.P.: “M.E.” – Wand