I got a decent amount done today, dear reader.  It wasn’t bad at all.  All of a sudden I’m getting a ton of mail, both E- and snail-.  Is that happening to you?  Kinda weird.  I’ll deal with it tomorrow.
Avoid people, stay home, and be extra nice to any first responders you may happen to come in contact with.  [Editor’s note: this advice holds true and applies to any given moment, not just during the plague.]

N.P.: “The Serpents of Eden” – Dawn of Ashes

What’s up, partially quarantined yet still suave reader?  Things remain entirely pleasant here.  Nobody coming to the door looking for money or peddling Jesus.  No noisy traffic on the streets outside twice a day.  Also worth noting: a precipitous drop in suicide bombings around the globe.  With public gatherings prohibited, suicide bombers are just regular old suicides.  No mass shootings either.  Several years ago (it was just after the Vegas thing on Halloween) I said in all seriousness that the way to effectively eliminate terrorism (foreign and domestic) immediately would be to eliminate public gatherings of any significant size, and to greatly reduce both the number of flights as well as the number of passengers on those flights.  People laughed and scoffed…like openly, as if I’d suggested the magical unicorns would save us from terrorists.  Well, a couple years later, and here we are.  Not to say I told you so, but no gun control laws did this.  The Second Amendment is perfectly in tact and just as in force as it ever was.  The moral of this motherfucker is (and you can quote me on this): “As a society, we have zero control or ability to predict the behavior of individuals.  But we can easily control giving terrorists and mass shooters ludicrously easy targets.
Okay, most resilient reader…I’m going try to get some words in on a couple other projects.  Stay well, avoid The Herd, and take no shit.

N.P,: “On Fire” – Moann Exis

Another splendid day of The Herd cowering confusedly in their suburban hovels and staying the hell out of my way.  No traffic anywhere, ample parking everywhere.  And with all the climate whiners not driving from place to place looking for other climate whiners to have protests with, things are nice and quiet, and the air quality is noticeably better.
I don’t know, dear reader, but I’m hoping this plague serves as the great Reset that our stupid society has needed.  We’re not there yet, but give it a couple more weeks, and some of the recent changes will likely become permanent.  What a wonderful world that will be.
Stay safe, dear reader.  Avoid The Herd…you’ll be fine.

N.P.: “Dopamine” – Tides From Nebula

I’ve gotta say, dear reader, that walking the pre-dawn streets of downtown Anhedonia was amazing today.  There was no traffic, which is typically a problem.  There was ample parking, which never happens down there.  There were astonishingly few other pedestrians around, and they stayed well away from me.  It was like a dream.  A wonderful, quiet, completely unannoying dream.  If only it had been raining.
It’s amusing to see commercials on TV enticing people to come to expensive restaurants, casinos, cruises, and travel destinations that are not open.  And I am hopeful that members of The Herd are starting to see celebrities for the irrelevances that they are.
Life is fine here at Hotel California, and I hope all is well with you, robust and hale reader.

N.P.: “I Idolize You” – Massive Ego

And as if things couldn’t get any worse, it’s the first day of spring.
Fuck.

N.P.: “I’m Afraid of Americans (V1 Edit) – David Bowie

I know things are bad, resilient reader, but if you didn’t spend at least part of today chuckling to yourself about the hell you raised last night then it’s your own damn fault.  Really, you should have celebrated with me…because everything is still shitty and stressful, but St. Patrick’s Day 2020 is over.  Gone forever.
Tomorrow’s gonna suck.  And Friday is going to be even worse.  And fuck knows where the bottom is right now.  But know this: not only will we get through this, but we’ll get through it in style.  Things will get worse before they get better.  But they will get better.

N.P.: “Back in Black” – AC/DC

You can take the Wuhan Virus and shove it right up your ass: it’s St. Patrick’s Day, goddammit, and we have drinking to do.  Take a break from worrying…you need it…and drink some whiskey.  To Ireland…to introversion!  Sláinte!

N.P.: “In the Name of the Father” – Bono, Gavin Friday

Whats going on, dear reader?  I hope you are well.
It warms my heart to watch extroverts have to really work at “social distancing.”  It’s cute the way they announce it as they’re doing it, like they feel it necessary to explain themselves for not hugging you or shaking your hand or otherwise wanting to touch you pointlessly.  You don’t need to explain that, extroverts…we get it.  What you really need to explain is why you’ve felt compelled to fucking hug us every time it’s been more than two hours since we last saw each other.  There’s simply no need for that.
#RiseOfTheIntroverts

N.P.: “I Just Had Sex” – The Lonely Island, Akon

How are ya holding up, dear reader?  Swimmingly, I hope.  There’s a little too much life happening at the moment to be able to concentrate enough of writing anything of literary consequence.
I went to the grocery store a little while ago, not to stupidly stock up on supplies, but to watch white girls in Uggs in a barely contained panic pretend to be Handling It.  Curious to note that there were many empty aisles, but the liquor section seems to be unaffected.  Clearly, panic induces an inability to make good decisions or maintain appropriate priorities.

N.P.: “The Order of Death” – Public Image Ltd.

Whaddup, attractive reader.  First things first…shout out to Dr. Hayden McCabe, all around genius and webmaster right here at jaysongallaway.com for always being available to rescue yrs. truly from the cybernetic bullshit I occasionally seem to get into.  Thank you, sir.

So how are you holding up?  Well, I hope.  I do wish The Herd would chill their fucking beans a bit.  Stupid people are easily frightened, and frightened people are dangerous people.  So that has lead us to a bunch of dangerously stupid people running around hoarding toilet paper and bottled water and other things that are essentially useless in the treatment of respiratory disease.  Of course, a great number of these people openly admit to believing that a virgin birth is actually a possibility, so perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised.  The Herd never fails to disappoint.

N.P.: “Born Dark” – Holy Wars