So many idiots, so few middle fingers.
sententious
adjective
-
given to moralizing in a pompous or affected manner.“He tried to encourage his men with sententious rhetoric, but to no effect: ultimately they were just a bunch of uninspired, myopic dickheads.”
For the House – Foyer.

garrulous
adjective
-
excessively talkative, especially on trivial matters.“He was nothing but a foolish, garrulous old man who needed to be silenced. Now he is silent.”
doleful
adjective
-
expressing sorrow; mournful.“a doleful look”2. causing grief or misfortune.“Kevin’s babymama is a doleful whore.”

tumefy
verb
-
become swollen
torpor
noun
-
a state of physical or mental inactivity; lethargy.“they veered between apathetic torpor and hysterical fanaticism”
lassitude
noun
-
a state of physical or mental weariness; lack of energy.“she was overcome by lassitude and retired to bed”
fixity
noun
-
the state of being unchanging or permanent.“the fixity of his stare”