I’ve also been feeling rather vindicated lately, mostly about stuff that everybody’s bought into, stuff I’ve been saying is obviously wrong for decades.
If you grew up in the 70s like me, your formative years were likely spent being rhetorically bludgeoned about the absolute essential duty of all humans to recycle, and the most essential of that essential duty was to recycle plastics because holy shit are just the worst thing that could ever have happened to our planet…just look at these pictures of all the oceans of the world rapidly filling with plastic. Now look at these pictures of dead fish. That’s your fault if you failed to recycle one piece of plastic. You specifically were killing dolphins by the dozen, and you specifically were going to be responsible for the death of every human on earth due to global freezing if you failed to recycle all plastics. All of this I vociferously dismissed as idiocy when I was nine years old.
Well, well, well, well, well.
Last month, none other than Greenpeace finally admitted that plastic recycling doesn’t work in as much as it does exactly fuck all to help the planet. Plastic recycling doesn’t work, and, more importantly, it never has worked.
That rather stunning admission from the hippies at Greenpeace was cause enough for another Celtic Bacchanalian Goat Dance, but then the very next day, the vegetarian hippies (who showed up in the mid-70s, around the same time the planet hippies started making their annoying noise), were forced to admit that there ain’t a damn thing wrong with eating red meat, healthwise. You know, as I’ve been saying since I was eight. All previous misinformation was the result of healthy user bias, corrupt hippie scientists, and pathetically shoddy research. Despite all the useless “consensus” of the last few decades, there are “extremely weak links” between red meat consumption and cancer, heart disease, or diabetes. And exactly no evidence of association between red meat consumption and stroke.
Other obviousness to be revealed in another couple of decades: the laughable barbarity of orthodontia, and the stupid cruelty of Daylight Saving Time.
N.P.: “Misirlou (Metal Version)” – Leo