You know what pisses me off, dear reader?  These pieces written by idiots that are entitled things like, “15 Things You Didn’t Know About _______.”  With “_______” here being something that I am at all interested in.  Inevitably, I know all 15 things, and I am not “special,” here…anybody who is at all “into” whatever is being discussed knows these 15 things plus a lot more.  And more often than not, I find numerous errors in their “reporting.”  Lately, I’ve done a little digging into the cretins writing this nonsense, and inevitably, they are in their early 20s and apparently still under the impression that culture and history started the day they were born, and now when they “discover” something that was around before they were born, they weirdly assume that nobody else has ever even heard of whatever they just “discovered” and feel that they are now, somehow, “experts” on the matter.  If they were to use accurate titles, these would all be called, “15 Things My Ignorant Ass Found Out When I Googled This Movie/Book/Band/Whatever Because I Couldn’t Figure It Out From Just Watching/Reading/Listening to It.”  Or something similar.  Like so many things, I get the impression that this shit doesn’t bother anybody else the way it does me.  But I don’t really care.  Because it needs to be said: “Goddammit, child…I was an expert at this before you were an itch in your daddy’s pants.”
Now get off my fuckin’ lawn.

N.P.: “Shambala” – Beastie Boys

When people react to some trivial event by suddenly standing up and shouting, “That’s what I’m talking about,” I tend to want to punch them in the mouth.  Then I could say, “Well that’s what I’m talking about,” which would be kind of funny.  But I wouldn’t want to sink to their rhetorical level.

N.P.: “Say Mas” – Processor

I’ve been getting a lot of words down, dear reader.  The writing’s going well.
Thought I was going to get a chance to try out the new switchblade today, but it turned out to be a false alarm.  Alas.
I think the next four days are going to be good…atmospheric ridiculousness aside.

N.P.: “Rocket Scientist (feat. Eve)” – Teddybears

Today was absolutely ludicrous, dear reader.  Had an assignment dropped on me mid-morning and had to do 2 weeks of work in 4 hours.  Which, of course, I did.  But I think I’m spent for the day.  I’ll rest my eyes a bit and write tonight.

N.P.: “Cavalry in Thousands” – Tengger Cavalry

Screaming passengers continue to be a problem.  It’s been a recurring issue for the last 5 years whenever I’ve had passengers while I’m driving, which is, thankfully, rare.
I understand that riding with me can be an…intense experience.  But only for those who lack faith in my superior driving skills.  I am a professional, you know.  I’m also a bit of a fatalist when it comes to other people, so though I have no idea of the myriad choices you have been making your entire life, those choices have somehow led you to be sitting in my passenger’s seat while I’m going ridiculous speeds.
The screaming is a problem because I tend to be several steps ahead of any passengers, so when I’m looking over my left shoulder quickly to see if the lane is clear, it’s probably to avoid the thing that my passenger is only now about to notice.  But when she screams, it interferes with some pretty complicated math and physics that’s going on in real time at about 90 mph, when is not a good time to interfere with things.  Luckily for all parties concerned, I long ago learned to ignore the screams of passengers (keeping the stereo at inordinate volumes helps).  I forgive them, for they know not what they do.  I don’t even lecture or yell until we safely get to where we’re going, and then I gently point out that we have arrived safely and without actual incident and was all that screaming and bullshit back there really necessary.  Which is a perfectly reasonable question, I think.

N.P.: “Homeless in Heathrow” – Fartbarf

PRESS RELEASE
jaysongallaway.com
Anhedonia, CA 95666

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: 07/12/2020

Obscure Irish-American Essayist’s Entire Weekend Ruined
At first thought to be just one day, but both days were ruined

Anhedonia, CA: Today, after an after-action review conducted by management at jaysongallaway.com, it was determined that two of writer Jayson Gallaway’s days, those being 7/11/20 and 7/12/20 respectively, were ruined due to negligence and dim-witted simplicity on the parts of others.  Details of the precise causes of the day ruination are not being made available by jaysongallaway.com, but one of the management members of the review team described the causes as “deeply personal.”
The author recently made headlines when he was charged in Mexican Federal Court with general villainy, mayhem, piracy, and the importation of dangerous animals for nefarious purposes.
Of the ruined days, Jayson had this to say in a brief interview: “I’m really in a state of disbelief about all of this.  I was really on a roll…it had been almost 50 days since that last time my day was ruined.  I didn’t see this coming at all.  Yesterday was bad…there was incompetence, and I had to yell at people.  That made me grouchy, and ultimately, my day was ruined.  Then, today, being brutally awakened by the fucking neighbor’s gardening service and their stupid blowers.  Fortunately, I had the insight to know to start drinking yesterday as soon as I’d figured out the day had been ruined.  So when today was ruined before I was even awake, I already had a jump on things, so it was easy to get drunk again without having to actually get out of bed.”
Both offending parties we issued violation tickets fining them $50 [these were cocktail napkins across which someone had written in crude Sharpie™, “U O Me $50 4 ruining my DAY!”].  Additionally, the neighbor’s gardening service was apparently pelted and barraged with last night’s empty whiskey bottles until they were forced to cease gardening and flee.
About jaysongallaway.com: jaysongallaway.com is allegedly some kind of literary website.  No one really knows what the hell goes on there.  The website has no official sponsors and has never even been considered for an award.

N.P.: “Criss Cross” – The Rolling Stones

I’m in a bad mood, and I suspect my entire day has been ruined.  I’m not sure.  I’m waiting to hear back from management, but the more I think about it, the more I really do think my entire day  has, in fact, been ruined.  This best plan at this point, I think, is for me to go drink.

N.P.: “Blizzard” – Erdling

Today in Substance over Symbolism news, there was, last weekend, a Black Lives Matter™ protest in Seattle held by mostly white people (natch).  They were inexplicably sitting on the I-5 freeway, which had been closed (presumably buy the same awful racist cops that BLM™ was protesting).  Somehow, a black dude in a Jag snuck onto the freeway going the wrong way up on off ramp, gunned the engine, and mowed down a few BLM™ protesters, killing one.  The driver then sped off.  When he was stopped and arrested a short time later, he showed no visible signs of impairment, expressed concern for the well-being of the pedestrians he’d struck, and ultimately tested negative for intoxicants.
So using our equation: empty gesture/virtue signal: white people standing stupidly on a closed freeway to be seen actively “helping” black people.  The Actual Really Real World Reality: a white woman gave her life so another black person gets life in prison.  Congrats again, BLM™…your body count is getting fairly impressive.

N.P.: “Run With The Devil” – Me and That Man, Jergen Munkeby

Seems like a good time to see how all of BLM’s defunding/abolishing the police is going now that they’ve had a full month to show the world how far the African-American community can soar when under the leadership of Black Lives Matter, not being constantly oppressed and killed by the patently racist police.  Violent crime in New York City, Chicago, Atlanta, and Detroit is up…way up, in some cases up 150% – 200% from this time last year.  The six babies that were shot to death grabbed most of the headlines: Secoriea Turner, age 8 (pictured far right, above) in Atlanta, Royta De’Marco Giles, also age 8 (pictured second to the right, above) in Hoover, Alabama, Davon McNeal, 11, in Washington DC (second from the left, above), Natalia Wallace, age 7, in Chicago, (pictured on the far left, above),  a 7-year-old boy in Autin, TX (not pictured or named), and a 6-year old boy in San Francisco (not pictured or named) are all dead.  Note that not one of these baby’s names appear on the BLM website.  There is no mention of any of the black lives lost this weekend.
Of course, those mentioned above were just the child murders that happened over the weekend.  In NYC, there were 44 shootings with a total of 63 victims.  In Chicago, 87 people were shot, 17 of which were fatalities.  If you add the black deaths that have occurred in the BLM autonomous zones, these numbers really add up.  For an organization calling itself Black Lives Matter, they seem to be stacking a lot of black bodies.
When the father of one of the children killed this weekend (Natalia Wallace) was asked if he thought there should be BLM protests for his daughter, he answered in the affirmative, but understood that those protests are only for victims of police violence.
So what I hear you saying is Black Lives Matter only if they are taken by the police, but otherwise, fuck ’em.

“The pretext of all of this, of course, was pursuing social justice and challenging institutional racism, and they used George Floyd for that.  They’re always trolling for other ‘George Floyds.  The head of Black Lives Matter went to Houston when a 7-year-old girl was killed and raised $100,000 in reward money while anticipating  that the person who killed her was white, only to discover that the murderer was black and so then it was not a story after that.  These people are really out to destroy civil society.  If a precinct can be taken over by a mob, then why not your home?  My message to guilty white people [is] stop helping us!  Just stop helping us!  There is blood on the hands of Black Lives Matter.”
~ Bob Woodson, ’60s civil rights leader

N.P.: “All the Best” – Processor

No invective tonight, dear reader.  Best of intentions, et cetera, et cetera, but a bunch of Life  happened, so I didn’t have appropriate time for invective composition.  So tomorrow, dear reader.  And tomorrow.   And tomorrow.

N.P.: “Lifehunger” – Vreid