Category Archives: Lucubrations

I so hope the lockdown never ends: literally everything is better when the extroverts are confined to their weird dwellings.  The world is quieter.  The air smells better.  We’re not forced to listen to the inane blathering of The Herd

Before my surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle…it was an ether/oar situation.
Okay, sorry…that was bad.

Word count is up.  Started this whole new section on the slasher novel.  I gotta say, if you’re a writer that’s at all “edgy” and you occasionally write something that you’re really on the fence about publishing because it may be Over The Line and bring the villagers marching to the castle gates with their torches and pitchforks, it’s extremely convenient to have a murder novel in progress that you can just drop weird shit into and have it fit perfectly.

N.P.: “Apocalyptical” – Puscifer

I went to the gas station and it occurred to me that I hadn’t been there since March.  I almost had to think about what I was doing.  It was weird.  The price of gas has dropped quite a bit.  And there was nobody else there.  All in all, a fine visit to the gas station.

Got a cheap new mic to use for dictation.  It’s pretty cool…I can pace around the room wearing a wireless headset and mic, and just kind of talk my book, and watch the words roll out on a large monitor on the wall.  This works really well for me.  This process of writing this way is really close to what it’s like recording music: you sing into a mic, your voice is digitized, and then you can edit and manipulate it on the screen using a mouse and keyboard.  To that end, I’ve now combined the writing studio and the recording studio in one room.   I’ve been spending a lot of time in that room.  I really like that room.

N.P.: “When the Shit Hits the Fan” – Circle Jerks

Big breakthrough, dear reader…record number of words down in the last 24 hours. We are pleased.

N.P.: “Send/Receive (Mind)” – Wand

The only real writing I’ve done so far is a bunch of bitching into my journal.  I have some hope for one of the books this evening.  We shall see.

I read an account of what it’s like to be stung by a murder hornet.  We really need to destroy these things posthaste.

N.P.: “Are Friends Electric?” – The Dead Weather

Well Jesus, dear reader, as if there wasn’t enough for us to worry about…now there are reports that murder hornets from Asia have arrived on our shores.  According to the Times, this wretched pestilence must be stopped in the next few months or else it is here to stay.
Apparently these goddamn things get up to 2 inches long and as of this week were found for the first time in the United States, specifically in the state of Washington.
Fun fact: in Japan the hornets kill up to 50 people a year according to the New York Times.  Yeah. And that’s not all: murder hornets can wipe out entire bee colonies within hours their stingers are long enough to penetrate puncture be keeping suits also according to the times.
The Times went on to say that the hornet has a distinctive look with eyes that are “teardrop shaped like Spiderman, with orange and black stripes that extend down its body like a tiger.”
Murder hornets, dear reader! Murder hornets! Jesus! What are we going to expect to deal with next?
These evil things have shown up in Bellingham, Washington. I’ve spent time in Bellingham, Washington: it’s an amazing place, with amazing people. Why should they have to deal with the murder hornets? Who dumped murder hornets in Bellingham?  This is outrageous.
N.P.: “Ain’t No Way” – Robin Loxley, Jay Hawke

All commercials have become the same  (even more the same than they might have been before): open with dramatically slow but vaguely hopeful piano music, then a voice over: “in these _______ [trying, uncertain, difficult, unprecedented, et cetera] times, it’s important to remember _______ [“the most important thing…is family,” “we need each other…” “everybody is worried, everybody is scared,” et cetera]. 
Which is fine.  Whatever.  But what really bugs me is the inevitable conclusion of these ads. I do wish corporate entities would stop telling me that we are “in this together“. Look, you were in this, and I am in this, but that does not mean that we are in this together. Save it.  Anybody continually insisting that “we’re in this together” is likely someone getting ready to ask for toilet paper.  

N.P.: “The Still” – Esoterica

It is truly impressive to see how many of my fellow Americans have become both medical experts as well as constitutional scholars in just a few short weeks.  I feel like such an underachiever.  I’ve just been wasting my time sitting here writing amazing books.
Anyway, the writing is going well.  The word count is up.  As is the whiskey consumption.  Coincidence?  I think so.

N.P.: “Mama, I’m Coming Home” – Ozzy Osbourne

I’m finally starting to use dictation with much more regularity than I have been.  Doing so gives me roughly 3 times the number of words I get typing or handwriting.  And other than minor editing due to mistakes caused by shortcomings with the software, I don’t have to change much, and I use the vast majority of it.  There are a couple of things I need to perfect, and a few kinks I need to work out, but I’m going to be using dictation a lot more.
Also, it’s hotter than hell.  It is April.  We are not amused.

N.P.: “Aurora surrealis” – Tid

Jayson Gallaway

April 27, 2020

There is cause for celebration, dear reader: the state of California has canceled its insipid State Fair. I cannot begin to describe the happiness this announcement brings me. I would drink deeply in honor of this development had I not run out of desk whiskey Saturday afternoon.  Now they simply need to ban the sale of fireworks and cancel Fourth of July celebrations and this will be one of the the best summers evar.

N.P.: “Pacific Coast Highway in the Movies” – AWOLNATION, Weezer

Ludicrously lazy day, dear reader.  I’m embarrassed to even tell you about it.  Might have gone too hard on the Whiskey whilst I was making the wings.  Alas.  Occupational hazard.  Didn’t write shit.  But there’s still hope for today: I’m not particularly tired.  I am also out of whiskey.

N.P.: “# W W C” – The Main Squeeze