Category Archives: Lucubrations

call Brian
You heard what I said about mini-cupcakes the other day, yeah?  So why did I get 4 of the insipid things today?  For the record, it is almost impossible to eat mini-cupcakes with pink frosting and goddamn candy hearts sprinkled on top in a masculine way, but I did it.  In fact, I dispatched 4 of the bastards like I was consuming the tiny baked hearts of my enemies, and then I washed them down with a belt of desk whiskey.
The writing so far today has been okay, but not nearly enough.  I’ll be brief here today…going to try to get some more done.
N.P.: “Animal” – Prick

How do I land

So remember a few weeks ago, I was all pissed off and angsty about the relatively sudden ubiquity of really quality entertainment (television and cinema), such that I was experiencing significant anxiety about all the amazing television and movies that I was not watching.  And that was just dealing with Netflix.  Well.  Now there’s Amazon Prime.  And that more than doubled the list of things I have to watch.  More than doubled: got a whole other list.  Shit!  And Amazon also gives you a free eBook each month to read, plus a goddamn audio book (which, by the way, I don’t particularly like audio books, but how can you turn down a “free” one?).  Add to this that every goddamn week, both Netflix and Amazon add about 30 more shows each, at least one-third of which I want to watch.  What used to be the time I watched something before bed is now spent just adding stuff to each of these insipid lists.  And let’s not forget the actual old-school made out of trees books that are stacked up waiting to be read.  AND I’m supposed to be writing about 7 books of my own!

If I took the next 7 years and did nothing but watch TV, I’m not sure that I would catch up.  Certainly not with these hyper-productive bastards churning out a new 10-episode series every single day.     I’ve started asking people who ask me whether or not I’ve seen some TV show or movie just how they do it.  How do you people manage to watch all this shit?  And I’ve not been able to get any kind of reasonable answer out of anyone.  They’re too busy watching TV.  Gah.

N.P.: “Ant Music” – Hyper

I heart London

Things that I had to attempt to deal with more than once today that truly piss me off:
  • Mini cupcakes
  • Non-alcoholic beer
  • Roundabouts in American intersections
  • Heterosexual men who claim to get “offended.”

N.P.: “Who We Be” – DMX

Life is hard.

When I complained once that “life is hard,” to a Buddhist friend, he replied, “Compared to what?”

He had a point. And that perspective has helped me a great deal in the last several years, especially recently. But no matter how many Taoist truisms or positive affirmations or sincere compliments from friends you get, there are some days when it seems the only possible human reaction is to say, out loud (but to one’s self), “To hell with it.”

Which I did. I’m going to go to bed early and just hope tomorrow is better, but today was an unexpectedly troubled one. . And I don’t mean to be my typically stupidly coy self by not elaborating…I’m just not sure what to say. But damn.

And also, to hell with it.

N.P.: “Ramalama (Bang Bang)” – Roisin Murphy

Pardon the interuption.

Unexpected Gifts

I was toiling away at the writing tonight when I had such a good idea that I actually stood up and took a bow. It was an absolutely sincere bow for an absolutely brilliant idea, but there was no one around to appreciate it. I do suspect that in several somewheres, several people suddenly smiled but couldn’t tell you why if you asked them. But I know why.
So now I’m here, feeling like taking another bow, so here goes:
::bows::
Thank you.
Thou shalt now rocketh on.

N.P.: “We Are Done” – The Madden Brothers

my ticket

Vidi, vici, veni.
Writing late, nothing great, no way to discombobulate. Sunrise gets earlier and earlier.

N.P.: Everyone is Everyone (and Everything is Everything) – Au4

He Said, She Said.

She: But you keep a sword in your bedroom.
Me: You say that like it’s a weird thing.
She: It is a weird thing!
Me: What’s weird about it? Where do you keep your sword?
She: …. [drinks deeply of Jameson’s Irish Whisky]
Me: The cleaver in the kitchen doesn’t seem to bother you much.
She: We’re not talking about your kitchen.
Me: Perhaps we should. Perhaps you’d be more comfortable there.
She: Maybe. Less swords.
Me: Fewer.
She: What?
Me: Fewer swords. There are fewer swords in my kitchen than in my bedroom, but vastly more cleavers.
She: There will be fewer women in your bedroom, but more proper grammar.
Me: It’s actually more of a usage issue than a grammatical one. If we’re being technical.
She: Has anyone ever just lit you on fire? Just like here, now, in front of a herd of witnesses, just doused you with Jamie’s and set light to you?
Me: Nobody’s ever cared enough. Until now.

N.P.: “Mladek” – Russian Circles

Interesting.

dinowang

“May you live in interesting times” is perhaps the most ancient of Chinese curses.  I think the times we live in can certainly be described as “interesting” in the Chinese sense, though I think this for likely very different reasons than you might suspect.
I’ll get into all that soon enough, but not today.  Today is Wednesday, after all, and it has always proven to be bad business to discuss anything controversial on Wednesdays.  So it will have to wait.  Besides, right now I have to go stalk an opossum that has been rather arrogantly rummaging through my trashcan for the last few weeks.  He is not foraging for food as much as he seems to be critiquing the contents of my garbage, and that is simply not acceptable.  I have to listen to a lot of nonsense in my life, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to take any shit off of some low-rent marsupial with poor orthodontia.

N.P.: “Rainbow Man 2.0” – Busy P

Minivans.

Scared sink

Number of times thus far in January that I have angrily but accurately addressed the incompetent driver in front of me on the freeway as “you minivan motherfucker” whilst threatening and detailing painful kickings of ass unless their driving improved posthaste: 7.  Number of those with handicap plates: 4.  Number from Oregon: 3.

N.P.: “99 Problems” – Hugo