I’ve got a long list of goals, and there’s some pretty bold stuff on that list.  But they are actual literal goals…things I fully intend and expect to achieve.  But there are two things that sort of stand out as things that haven’t happened yet, that aren’t likely to happen in the normal course of things, but that I would like to do.  These could be said to comprise my bucket list.
1) Ride a horse.  I’ve never ridden a horse.  I lived on a fucking ranch for several years, and I’ve never ridden a horse.  I’ve ridden a goddamn elephant.  Ridden a camel.   But never a horse.  I just think it would be weird to live an entire human lifespan and exit life on this planet without ever having ridden a horse.  No need to get crazy…I don’t need to have an adventure or weird cowboy fantasy.  Galloping will not be necessary.  Galloping will not even be desired.  Galloping actually won’t be tolerated.  Hell no.  I want an extremely elderly horse, maybe slightly infirm.  Just this side of dead.  And not far, just from here to there.  Just far enough so that I can legally say that I have ridden a horse.
2) Fly on Air Force One.  So long as the Presidency is an elected position, I will never be President.  Which is really probably the best thing for all parties concerned.  I’m fine with it.  But I wanna fly on that fuckin’ plane.  It would probably be more valid if there was a President on the flight with me, but that’s not essential.  I know a dude that flew on AF1 once.  He described the take-off like a fighter taking off from a carrier.  Sounded intense.  Anyway, this dude’s a bit of a prick, and I don’t like him walking around being able to say he’s done cooler shit than me.  But never mind  that, I’ve always really wanted to fly on Air Force One.

N.P.: “Somebody Call My Momma” – WWE, Jim Johnston