I really don’t belong in Fecal Creek.  The place and people have been nothing but wonderful to me.  But the grammar…my God, the grammar.  I have spent a great deal of my time here wanting to light myself on fire in the only reasonable response to the myriad grammatical atrocities I’ve unwittingly witness and helpless endured during the past couple of years.

I’d estimate that 98% of the conversations I’ve overheard that take place in The Creek are nothing more than poorly recounted, emotionally hypercharged, and unabashedly biased retellings of banal conversations that that originally occurred in totally different places with totally different people.  And of those retellings, roughly 50% consist of variations of the following phrase, repeated over and over and over again with varying word order: “And so I told him, I says, ‘….’  And then I says to him, I says, ‘….'”  It’s really quite horrible, and on some days, more than I can take.  Hence days like today that I spend looked away in my room at Hotel California, hiding from the Herd and their ghastly grammar and odious usage

N.P.: “#1 Crush” – Garbage