Hot damn, dear reader…today is Columbus Day! Never mind the whiny bullshit you hear from leftists on this day: Christopher Columbus was a goddamn superstar.
In 1492, Columbus takes his fleet of three small ships – the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria – and goes pretty blindly sailing across the uncharted waters of the Atlantic to find a new route to the wealth of the East, something no sailor had dared to attempt before. We all “know” that part of the story, but think about the balls that it would take to even begin such an undertaking. Dude had nothing but a compass, three rather rickety boats, a vision of a better world, and sheer determination. Most American men can no longer leave their house without their phones. Christopher was a G.
His voyages are truly legendary, marking the beginning of the Age of Exploration. His journey not only unveiled a whole new world but also ignited an era of global exploration that would forever change the course of human history. The course of human fucking history, dear reader! He didn’t just navigate the unknown ocean, he enthusiastically leapt, balls first, into The Unknown, inspiring generations of curious dreamers to pursue their own quests in a similarly testicles-forward way.
This is when the when the white liberal women start whining about Columbus personally arrived on these shores to spread disease and racism. Bongwash. That is a totally anti-American rewrite of what actually happened. Don’t believe it. Anyone with a modicum of historical knowledge scoffs at the idea.
Columbus’ voyages weren’t just personal triumphs…they set a global transformation in motion. By opening new trade routes, Columbus spurred economic growth and paved the way for an unprecedented exchange of goods, ideas, and cultures. New crops and products going to Europe and America revolutionized cuisine, and cultural exchanges revolutionized art, science, and philosophy on both sides of the ocean.
Don’t believe the tripe: Columbus’ legacy is a testament to the power of exploration to forge connections and expand horizons, bringing our world closer together. He ushered in an era of collaboration and innovation that shaped the modern world.
Big ol’ glass of whiskey raised to Christopher Columbus, a goddamn superstar.
N.P.: “Firing Squad – Instrumental” – Overseer
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