Defenestrate (verb): To throw someone or something the fuck out the window.

Defenestrate originates from the Latin words “de-” (down or away) and “fenestra” (window). This unique term is often used both in a literal and metaphorical context, though it’s not a word you’ll likely use in everyday conversation.  Unless you’re talking to me, in which case you’ll find it deployed frequently.

Just as the sun was beginning to set, casting a warm glow over the city, an extraordinary event took place at the bustling office of Smith & Co. After a day of repeated and absurd failures, the CEO, a man known for his dramatic flair, had reached the end of his patience with his dim-witted amanuensis. With a huff of frustration, he decided to defenestrate the pesky collection of tight shirts, neuroses, and incompetence. Employees watched in shock, then amused relief, as Amber flew out the window, tumbling down into the busy street below. From that day forward, the term “getting Ambered” became a synonym for defenestration at Smith & Co.

N.P.: “Knockers” – The Darkness

Dearest reader, today’s Word of the Day is “inveigh,” a verb that means to bitch vociferously; to protest or complain bitterly or vehemently.  It’s a word that packs a subtle punch, and is typically used in formal contexts.

Let’s see this word in action:

Once upon a time (meaning now) in the quiet town of Witch’s Tit, CA, there was a man named Brad.  Brad was known for both his affinity for bootleg tipple and his ability to inveigh against anything and everything.  His nickname was Brad the Inveigher (like Vlad the Impaler except not nearly as cool).  Though some of the locals found Brad’s stupidity amusing, Brad was almost universally disliked.  His favorite pastime was getting drunk and attending town hall meetings, where he would rail against the most mundane issues.  One memorable evening recently, Brad stood up whilst drunk and began spewing invective at the local bakery’s decision to reduce the size of their doughnuts by a microscopic amount.  He ranted and raved, waving around a doughnut as evidence, his face turning a shade of red that almost matched the raspberry filling.  “Who the hell are these idiots to try to change the size of doughnuts from the standard Judeo-Christian size that they’ve been for millennia?  This is an affront to doughnut lovers everywhere!” he exclaimed, before accidentally squishing the doughnut in his hand, causing a spray of raspberry filling to hit the mayor sitting in the front row.  The room fell silent, then erupted into laughter (except for, most notably, the mayor, who was not laughing at all, and actually, judging from appearances) sank suddenly into extraordinarily dark states of pissed off).  From that day forward, Brad was not only known as the town’s chief complainer, but also as the Doughnut Deflator.  Despite the incident, Brad continued to inveigh with gusto, providing the townsfolk with endless entertainment, right up until the day the Mayor had Brad shot in the balls by the Anhedonia County Sheriff for his egregious breach of etiquette with that raspberry doughnut bullshit at the last town hall meeting.  Brad’s been on the quiet side ever since.

N.P.: “TK421” – Lenny Kravitz

Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2023

1. causing or produced by putrefaction or decay.

The stripper before him smelt of the sourness of the second shift of a very rough double. The sour breath of alcohol and penis and the odor of sweat and smoke. Her dead tooth was a dark glare in the light of the bar, and the way the blacklight made all of her teeth glow nuclearly except for the dead one wasn’t helping anything. Her eyes were wild with desire and methamphetamine as she moved her hips in circles. He felt the warmth of her body as she leaned in and her hands grasped his neck tightly. He tried to ignore the stench of her dead tooth and focus on the feeling of her body against his. Although he could not deny the saprogenic smell of her mouth as she mumbled whorish nonsense mere  inches away from his face, he remained transfixed upon the song blaring in the background…it was one of his favorites.  It didn’t have a dead tooth.  “Focus on the song,” he told himself.  “Once it’s over, this dance will be over, and I can finally escape this ho and her fetid breath.”

N.P.: “You’re Insane” – Rod Stewart

Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2023

un·pre·pos·ses·sing
/ˌənprēpəˈzesiNG/

adjective

1. not particularly attractive or appealing to the eye.
   Myriad words have been employed throughout the years to describe unfortunate looks of the neighbor lady: repugnant, ghastly, bleak, filthy, paltry, revolting and unsightly. Comparisons to war wounds and auto accidents had been made more than once. The more charitable…the ones who genuinely tried to be kinder often described her as unprepossessing.  But on this particular night, with the eldritch moonlight illuminating her hunchback just so as she snacked on a midnight goat in the backyard, the only term that came to mind was “bestial.”  God, she is vile.  

N.P.: “Living On The Ceiling” – Blancmange

Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2022

Hey dear reader…just wanted to check in real quick…the writing is going extremely well, I’m just working on too many projects and there are simply too few hours in the day.  Thirty hours would be about perfect, I think.  Stupid heliocentric universe.  Anyway, I promise I’ll be back here soon.

N.P.: “Bil Biyelgee” – The HU

Art by Tasty Piece,©️ The Safehouse Collection 2022

Well, it’s the first week of September, so naturally it’s hot as balls here in The Creek. We’re in the middle of something worse than a Heat Wave…it’s evidently called a Heat Storm and it is evil. The next 7 days are once again featuring highs in the 120s. And as has long been established, no great literature can be committed in any climate hotter than 110, and even that’s pushing it.

Fortunately, the Safehouse is equipped with a state of the art Freezeyerass Air-Conditioning unit pumping out something like 15K BTUs, of chilly climate-controlled bliss, so work on the books shall continue apace, despite the ongoing temperate fuckery.

N.P.: “Ten Times More” – Dropkick Murphys

mondegreen
noun
noun: mondegreen; plural noun: mondegreens

1. a misunderstood or misinterpreted word or phrase resulting from a mishearing of the lyrics of a song

So my three most memorable mondegreens are these:
1) In The Beatles’ Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, I thought the lyric was “The girl with colitis goes by.”
2) In Creedence Clearwater Revival’s Bad Moon Rising, I thought the lyric was “There’s a bathroom on the right.”
3) In Head East’s Never Been Any Reason, I thought the lyric was “Shave my wife, I’m going down for the last time.”  Which made more sense to me than the actual lyric.

N.P.: “Gott Maschine Vaterland” – Cephalgy

Today was utterly fucking exhausting.  It’s the special kind of exhaustion that comes from planning for a year or so to do something, then suddenly finding out it isn’t possible, then 20 minutes later finding out it is, then 20 minutes later finding out it isn’t possible for a different reason, and then 20 minutes after that finding out that there is an entirely different option that you were previously unaware of that makes the thing you’d been planning to do for a year rather pointless.  I think at the end of it all, my situation had actually improved, but what a roller coaster ride getting there.

Gonna go collapse.

N.P.: “Ship on Fire” – Zeal & Ardor

Another overly peopley day.  Peoply?  People-ly?  Whatever.  There were too many fucking people.  I got through it fine.  Exhausting, though.  In lieu of wisdom, here is a word I’m rather fond of:

Your Word of the Day is pluviophile – noun – a lover of rain;someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.

N.P.: “Majesty” – Ghost