Well Jesus, dear reader, as if there wasn’t enough for us to worry about…now there are reports that murder hornets from Asia have arrived on our shores. According to the Times, this wretched pestilence must be stopped in the next few months or else it is here to stay.
Apparently these goddamn things get up to 2 inches long and as of this week were found for the first time in the United States, specifically in the state of Washington.
Fun fact: in Japan the hornets kill up to 50 people a year according to the New York Times. Yeah. And that’s not all: murder hornets can wipe out entire bee colonies within hours their stingers are long enough to penetrate puncture be keeping suits also according to the times.
The Times went on to say that the hornet has a distinctive look with eyes that are “teardrop shaped like Spiderman, with orange and black stripes that extend down its body like a tiger.”
Murder hornets, dear reader! Murder hornets! Jesus! What are we going to expect to deal with next?
These evil things have shown up in Bellingham, Washington. I’ve spent time in Bellingham, Washington: it’s an amazing place, with amazing people. Why should they have to deal with the murder hornets? Who dumped murder hornets in Bellingham? This is outrageous.
N.P.: “Ain’t No Way” – Robin Loxley, Jay Hawke
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