All the usual apologies and excuses, dear reader…the road has been a bit rough on this end. Nothing I can’t handle, of course, but just enough little annoyances and inconveniences to keep me from certain non-survival oriented tasks, like, you know, posting here.
For most of the last couple weeks I’ve felt as if I’m on the verge of some kind of break, either a breakthrough or a breakdown. Which hasn’t been exactly comfortable, and it’s rather frustrating when neither breakdown nor breakthrough is forthcoming.
Another thing that is stressing me out is this goddamn plant. Yeah, I violated personal policy and bought a plant the other day, and the thing is being absolutely dickish. Obstinately refusing to thrive. I should have known better.
Here’s the deal: things don’t survive very well wherever I live. When I move in to a house, not only does the lawn die, but the lawns of the neighbors on the houses on either side of the house die as well. Household pets contract rare tropical disease or go on hellbent hunger strikes. Even non-living things are not safe: the most reliable appliances suffer catastrophic failure if attempt to use them for the simplest of purposes. Hell, I had a full-sized plastic tree in my apartment in Seattle, and after about two weeks, its plastic leaves turned brown and fell off and it just looked completely derelict and weird. It’s bad. So after decades of the same result, I implemented a personal policy which stipulates no living things in my domicile. No harm, no foul. And it’s worked out fine. So long as I’ve adhered to it. Which I have. Until last week, when I bought a plant at the grocery store for no good reason whatsoever. I’m sure there were reasons, but they certainly weren’t good ones. That I was grocery shopping whilst drunk likely had something to do with it.
Anyway, I bought this goddamn plant, and as soon as I got it in the door, this thing had started the death spiral. I googled a picture of the thing, and was told subsequently that this is an aloe plant. Low maintenance…the thing is supposed to love desert life, Rather impossible to kill…the only thing it absolutely cannot tolerate is standing water. And me, apparently, because this thing has done nothing but die for a week. I’ve given it water, withheld water, given it light, kept it in the shade. Whatever. Fuck plants.
N.P.: “Tougher Than Leather” – Run-D.M.C.
Somebody thought they could leave a comment!