I declined to participate in a government round table on bullying for the second time this year. I have the solution to bullying, but these people do not want to hear it. They think they do, but they really don’t.
When I was in Seattle, some hippy idiots had set up a table outside the grocery store soliciting money to stop bullying. I got into it with them. I’ve run into a few such wrong-headed people in California, and I’ve shared my opinion with them. Stopping bullying requires no money. And any solution you seek that requires money will not work, and will thus be a total waste of time. The only solution effective solution to bullying…the one thing that will stop bullying permanently is overwhelming, egregiously disproportionate violent response.
I was bullied during 4th grade by a kid in my class who was about a foot taller than me. I told my parents. There were meetings with my teacher. The bully in question was talked to by the administration. In 5th grade, the bully and I were placed in separate classes. Still the bullying continued. Additional talks were had. Yet still, the bullying continued. Having done everything “the legal way” up to that point, my dad finally took me aside (away from my mom), and told me that obviously the Powers That Be were impotent, and that I was going to have to end this myself. The only specific instruction he gave me was this: “The next time he messes with you, punch him as hard as you can in the throat. Then do whatever comes naturally.” Which, in hindsight, was probably rather dangerous advice to give me. But I took it. So the following week, when the bully (I do actually remember his name) started messing with me, I did something I’d never done before: I ran. Since bullies tend to be rather dim intellectually and overblown egotistically, he mistook my “flight” for fear, which he was eager to exploit. I ran into a full sized wooden playhouse (it was basically a two-room Tuff Shed) on one end of the playground. Expecting to find me cowering in the corner, the bully was rather shocked to find me standing there with a punch already thrown directly to his throat. He dropped, clutching his throat, instantly panicking at no longer being able to breathe. I knew that that was enough to end my bullying problem, but I felt a responsibility to ensure that this idiot would never again even think about bullying anyone, so I did “what came naturally.” Then I calmly returned to class. About 15 minutes later, there was commotion in my classroom as other students got up to watch two staff members help carry that kid to the office where the nurse was. I stayed in my seat, and never said a word. And no one, no teacher or staff member, ever asked me about it.
I learned a lot about the world and about myself that day. One very clear lesson I learned was to not waste time being tolerant…that is beneficial to no one.
I’ve been in exactly two physical fights as an adult. They both started with someone else throwing a punch at me (being bullies), and they both ended with the puncher limping/crawling into some public place (a liquor store and a coffee shop) and pleading for someone to call the cops to save them. And in both instances I pulled them out of said public place and continued their education. It was an important lesson they were learning, and I had to be certain that they would remember.
Anyway, I just don’t think the hippies organizing the government round table are ready for my solution, so I hope they stop asking.
N.P.: “Violent Mood Swings Iwo Jesus” – Stabbing Westward
